Jesse Dimmick of Topeka broke into the home of Jared and Lindsay Rowley. He burst into the home and held them captive with a knife. Well over time Jared and Lindsay calmed him down and even gained his trust by…wait for it…by giving him Cheetos and Dr. Pepper. And as he began to relax they put on the always calming movie "Patch Adams" starring Robin Williams. And Jesse got so relaxed that he fell asleep on the couch and so Lindsay and Jared ran out of the home and called the police.
When cops arrived Jesse was still asleep, and probably still had the bag of Cheetos under his arm! But now Jesse is suing them…he is suing Jared and Lindsay because he said that when he broke into their home they promised not to turn him in and they did. So he says they broke a verbal contract and he wants $235,000!
It’s not often that a study comes out that gives us the green light on one of our addictions so let’s enjoy this one! Australia’s Institute for Medical Research is now saying that you and I should…yes I said SHOULD drink coffee. And they say we shouldn’t only have one cup, no not just 2 or 3 cups, but we should have 4 cups of coffee a day!
***I'm sure this will come as a shock to you, but I did not attend medical school. So please talk to your doctor and do your own research on topics of this nature. I would really like for us to be friends on Facebook! Please click here to show me your love! :)
Out of Rhode Island … Pony Up
On Memorial Day William Savian was busy working parties with his little Shetland pony, and once the day was done he had one thing on his mind…going to the liquor store. So he walked to the liquor and paused before going in to notice a sign that read, “No dogs or cats.” So it said no dogs or cats, but it didn’t say anything about ponies. So in Willie and his pony went! They went into the liquor store to grab a bottle of booze (see photos below).
And as you can imagine the owner wasn't thrilled with having the little equestrian beast in his store, but he was going to let it slide until…until “Paul” The Pony dropped a DEUCE on the floor! Yep, his pony pooped right there in the floor! And Willie took off without cleaning it up! So the owner called the police who tracked down Willie and asked him to go clean up his pony’s mess, and if he would do so then no charges would be brought against him. He grabbed a pooper scooper and took care of it. And the owner of the store has added a "No Horses Allowed" sign to the front door!
I found this at Match.com. Your sleeping position can reveal what sort of personality you are? Even better, it can reveal what sort of personality your partner has. Is this real? Comment below to let me know.
Curled up on your side
This fetal position is the most common with 41% of the population sleeping this way. (twice as many women as men). People that sleep like this may seem tough on the surface but they are shy and sensitive.
On your side, straight as a log
15% of people are space-saving sleepers they tend to be extremely trusting and gregarious. Arms outstretched and sideways
Beware, the 13% of people who sleep like this are cynical and slow to make decisions, but once they do make a decision to commit, they're sure.
On your back with arms at sides
Only 8% of people sleep like this. They are reserved and have very high standards.
On your stomach
With their arms wrapped around the pillow, 7% of people sleep like this. These are the party animals!
On your back, with arms overhead
The rarest of all sleep positions, only 5% of the population sleep this way. They also have a very rare quality, they are good listeners.
There is a man in Japan that is in last place…sort of. I’m talking about Jiroemon Kumura and he is the last man alive who was born in the 19th century. So to say this guy is old is an understatement since he has been on earth since 1897, which makes him so old that Moses signed his year book. Okay that was lame, and for those of you who can't do the math that means that he is 116 years-old.
There are at least 10 women alive who were born in 1899, but Jiro is the oldest man alive and called a super centurion. And if you ask him for tips on how to have a long life he only has two. He eats very small meals and spends a ton of time sleeping. So the next time someone says, “Don’t sleep your life away” tell them to mind their own business.
Out of Florida … Too Hot to Handle
For some reason I think you women are going to LOVE this story, because it is about older men who think they are Casanovas, but soon realize they are SUCKERS! In south Florida police are warning men about a gang of hot women who are preying on rich guys. At least 13 men have recently called the police and said that they were at a bar when 2 or 3 beautiful women began flirting with them. The little hot honey bunnies eventually ask the aging studs if they want to go back to his place for a “blue pill” rendezvous. Well when they get to the dude’s place they drug him so he passesout, and then they steal his stuff!
Remember, 13 men have come forward so we can only guess there are many more who are either too embarrased or too MARRIED to report the crimes. Police in Broward County state that AT LEAST $300,000 in cash and other expensive items like Rolexes, iPads, and credit cards have been stolen from the overly hormonal men. Below and to the left you will find a sketch of one of the women they police officers are looking for at this time. And on the right you will see a photo of our cohost Ellen Tailor. hummmmm
18 year-old Xenna Kristian just got beat up. I’m talking about a major UFC-Cage Match style beat down from another chick. Poor littl Xenna even had to go to the hospital! So why would someone beat her up? Well some believe it is because she looks like Taylor Swift! No, I mean she really looks like Taylor Swift, and so much so that she makes a living as a T-Swift impersonator.
Now, word is that Xenna is a little obnoxious with her Taylor Swift impersonating as in she always…always dresses and attempts to behave like the billionaire breakup singer. And so there is a very good chance she was beat up because she is just an obnoxious snob and not just the fact she looks like Taylor.
You can be the judge on just how much she looks like Taylor by checking out the pictures below. What do you think?
Jason Leon is either stupid or very very brave! And I say that because as he was walking there in the Sunshine State he noticed something very large slither into the bushes, and instead of running away from it...he went toward it! He walked over to try and get it. Well, Jason didn’t just try to catch it…he reached into the bushes and pulled the long slithering beast out by its tail. And when I say long, I’m saying he pulled out a Burmese PYTHON that was 18” 2’ long!!!! And then the python wrapped itself around him, but Jason wasn’t going down without a fight so he somehow pulled out his knife and began stabbing the satanic beast! Jason was able to kill the snake which weighed 126 lbs.
Want to stay unemployed? Then do these 8 things when applying for a job.
1. Weird hobbies. You might think all your weird hobbies make you more interesting in an interview, like maybe they'll be a conversation starter. But actually they just make you LOOK WEIRD. And weird people don't get jobs when a normal person is available.
2. Your private business. Your marital status, religious affiliation, sexual orientation and other private matters shouldn't go on a resume. Employers aren't allowed to take them into account anyway. And for almost all jobs, they're irrelevant to performance.
3. Big vocabulary words. They won't impress anyone. People who don't know them will resent you, and people who do know them will see through it. And BOTH groups will think you're a showoff.
4. Unprofessional-sounding email addresses. If you're still rocking your "SexyLady69@gmail.com" address from junior college, open a new account. It's free and it takes two minutes. If you don't take the job seriously, you won't get it.
5. Sensitive identifying information. Don't give them your social security number before you get the job. You don't know where they're storing that resume, or who gets to see it after you hand it over.
6. Attention-getting tactics. Don't print a resume on colored paper, or use weird fonts or decorations. Hiring managers hate all that stuff, pretty much without exception. It's all part of taking the job seriously.
7. Wild career objectives. Don't apply for a job in the mailroom and say you intend to become the CEO. Ambition is great, but delusions will get you passed over.
8. Irrelevant job experience. No one wants to read about your part-time jobs in high school. Stick to the experience that QUALIFIES you for the job you want. If that makes your resume too short, that probably means you shouldn't be applying in the first place.
For years Dee Samad and her hubby knew that someone was stealing beer from their backyard kegerator, but they never could catch the little thief. Well last week they got a surprise. They came out to find a note that read, “Enclosed is a sum of cash that my friends and I owe you and your family to repay you for all of the times we have stolen from your poolside fridge over the past few years." In the letter he continued to apologize and said he couldn’t bring himself to apologize in person, but he hoped she would forgive him.
He basically said that he had found Jesus and wanted to try and make things right. He left them with $140 in cash and Dee says she would love to meet him and he is welcome to come by for a visit anytime!
The graduation will be a little smaller this year at East Carter High School. Not because they have a small graduating class, but because 7 of them have been banned from the celebration! Why you ask?
Well because the rambunctious boys got together and released a few crickets into the hallways of the school. And by a few I mean that they released TEN THOUSAND CRICKETS! And while that is very funny…it was also very expensive to get rid of all of them!
46 year-old Jose Zaragoza went to a fortune teller for a very rational thing…he asked her to put a LOVE spell on a woman he fancied. And so she put the spell of romance on the target of his affection and…and…nothing. The spell did not work so Jose and his friends broke into the fortune tellers house to make her give him his love spell money back! And that is where the real WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME part of this story comes in. How much do you think he paid for the love spell? Try $212,000!
FYI, Jose is a crook and embezzled almost 8 million dollars from a professional soccer association and he is being investigated for that crime, and he was arrested for breaking into the fortune tellers home!
Jaron McGee was out teaching his daughter how to drive last week. He was doing all that a good daddy should do by teaching her how to use her brakes, how to accelerate, and how to park. And because of that, and well the fact that she ended up hitting a tree, he was arrested. Why you ask? Because while teaching your daughter to drive is a good thing…you should probably wait until they are 15 or 16 years old. Jaron’s daughter is NINE!
Out of Australia … The Camera doesn’t Lie
We don’t have a name for this poor guy so we will call him Homer, and Homer believed that he had a ghost in his house. He knew it because at night he could hear the little gobblin sneaking around. So he set up a camera to catch him, and he did just that! Well, he didn’t catch footage of a ghost, but he did get footage of his girlfriend. He got footage of his new girlfriend AND his son…uh…sneaking around. The girlfriend is 28 and the son is 16 so charges are pending.