ChooseMyPlate.gov has published the recipe for a healthy alternative to S'mores, that melted-chocolate-and-marshmallow-on-graham-cracker concoction that's so messy and wonderful, especially in the summer.
Ready? Instead of chocolate, strawberries. Instead of marshmallow, yogurt.
And instead of graham crackers, a couple of pieces of cardboard.
Okay, that last part's not real, but it might as well be.
Nothing wrong with strawberries and yogurt - they make a nice parfait.
But they pale in comparison to melty, drippy, messy chocolate and marshmallow.
Frederick Warren of Chicago went into a Subway, pulled out a knife, and demanded all the cash from the register.
Then he took the cash and ran out the door and at that point…at that point…he jumped into a getaway car right? Wrong!
He took the money he stole from Subway and went across the street to a Potbelly Sandwich Shop . The cops caught him while he was still sitting in the Potbelly, finishing up his food. He had $186 in cash on him and the knife . . . and he was arrested.
Defending yourself in court is rarely a good idea, but I can tell you that allowing a STUFFED OWL to defend you in court is NEVER A GOOD IDEA. I kid you not folks, a man by the name of Charles Abbot was in court in Aspen, Colorado this week and brought a stuffed owl…set it on the desk in front of him in the courtroom and said, “This is my attorney Soloman.”
To make this story even better, Chuck Abbot was there because he had assaulted another man DURING an alcoholic’s anonymous meeting. During the proceedings the judge couldn’t help but ask for the credentials of Soloman the Owl. Chuck said, that his Stuffed Owl Attorney had law degrees from Yale, Harvard, and Stanford. He also told the judge that Soloman was a little sensitive.
Now, the guy Chuck assaulted is named Michael and in the end, the judge couldn’t make a decision but told them to stay away from each other except on Sundays. Yes, they can be around each other on Sundays because they go to the same CHURCH!
Solomon the STUFFED OWL asked for the case to be dismissed, but the judge rescheduled the hearing for next month.
First of All, Chuckie, why are you in A-A? Remember…no one likes a quitter!
Secondly, if you think the owl is talking and listening to you then you need more than alcoholics anonymous. You are coo coo!
Thirdly, Chuck, you must’ve been drunk to think an owl is an attorney. Everyone knows lawyers are snakes!