A guy in Manchester, England called the cops around 11:30 Tuesday night, when he noticed a guy setting up a LADDER outside his apartment, leading to one of his windows.
So he reported it as a possible burglary in progress. Then while he was on the phone, he thought of something…something to end the robbery. He simply opened the window, grabbed the ladder and quickly pulled it into the apartment. The robber then just stood there shocked before running off.
Dr. Seuss, the man behind "The Cat in the Hat," "Green Eggs & Ham" and so many other childhood classics, passed away almost 25 years ago.
So when you hear there's a "new" Dr. Seuss book, you sort of scratch your head, right?
Story is, the Doc wrote it in the late 1950s and tossed it into a box. Someone just found the book in the box, and the book in the box is now on the charts...
Sorry, sort of got into a rhythm there.
It's called "What Pet Should I Get?"
The folks at Jimmy Kimmel Live! thought maybe they could present the new old work in a more modern vein, so they invited Tyler the Creator to rap the words - dressed, for some reason, as the Cat in the Hat.
Watch it, and see if it pains you as much as it pains me.
Today’s Crown of Clowns goes to one Kylie Mullane!
Kylie is in a little trouble because she just slapped the crap out of her 18 year-old daughter Ashley. And yes Ashley is the one who called the cops after she got the backhand from mommy dearest. But here is why…why Kylie lost her mind and smacked her daughter…it was because her little girl flushed her weed! You see, Kylie had been out buying some groceries and returned home to find that her gilggle grass was missing and so she flipped out. Her daughter Ashley then said, I flushed it down the toilet and “BAM” she took one across the choppers.
Wait…did I say the mother was the clown?...I can I change my mind! I kid…I kid! Kylie I fully understand having teenagers in your home makes you want to smoke your brains out, BUT let’s not resort to physical violence.
Kylie, take a lesson from our very own Tony Russell…just tell your kids you need it for THE GLAUCOMA!
OR Kylie you could just do what 98% of all parents do…TEACH YOUR KIDS TO SAY NO…AND THEN HIDE YOUR DANG WEED in the top of your closet!