A TV station in Youngstown sent a reporter to check out a fire that started in a garage and spread to two houses. The garage belonged to a woman named Heather who was willing to talk on camera. And the reporter asked her (on live TV) if she knew how the fire started, and that is when she said, “Oh yeah…my COUSIN did it.” The very nervous reporter then asked Why?
And Heather said this about her cousin, "He's mad because he can't get with me. I'm married to my husband . . . he already put him in the hospital once last month." COMMERICAL BREAK
Today’s Crown of Clowns goes to…well…a clown. Seriously, a clown was recently sighted in a Chicago cemetery late at night. The clown apparently stood in front of the cemetery waiting to be illuminated by the headlights of a passing car. Once he was seen, the clown paused, waved slowly for maximum creepy effect — then scaled the 7-foot-tall gate and ran away. Officials investigated and found no vandalism in the cemetery!
Well…this is kind of tougher than I thought it would be…Clown you are a clown, because…dang…because you are a clown. A really really creepy clown.
Mr. Cemetery Clown, you can scale a SEVEN FOOT TALL FENCE. How is it you are running around dressed as a clown at night and not…not in the circus or playing in the NBA?
In seriousness, If you show up when I’m going to visit my sweet Aunt Winnie or Momma Mae or Daddy Bob…I will knock your ass out.
Octavio got pulled over by coppers for a couple of reasons. One he darted cross three lanes and traffic and two…in the process he literally ran an officer off the road! Now with all that being said let’s forget he is also a convicted felon…and let’s forget about the fact that he had a gun in his car, because that isn’t even the stupidest part!
Because when the cop walked up to his car, they also noticed that Octavio's hands were shaking . . . and his nose and mouth were covered in COCAINE. But when he asked him about it, Octavio claimed it wasn't drugs . . . it was because he'd just eaten a powdered DONUT. Not surprisingly, the cop didn't buy it!
Officers pulled over Ray Woods over the weekend and noticed that he had quite the bulge in his pants. So they asked him to step out of the car to see if he was packing heat. Ray Woods was not packing heat…..but he was blessed. Blessed with a massive amount of heroin and cocaine.
Get this, he had 26 bags of heroin and 41 bags of cocaine in his crotch. Actually…it wasn’t just in his crotch he had the bags tied around his...well…testees. There you go, all in all…he had almost 70 bags of drugs…just in his pants.
Ray --- A guy with the last name Wood…getting caught because he has a bulge in his pants is just precious. So Mr. Wood thank you for making this easy.
Ray --- Have you heard of something called a backpack, or maybe the old school brief case? Tying off 70 bags of the hooch to your pooch was not needed. Speaking of which…
Ray --- Most people are concerned about your obvious drug problem…me…I’m worried that you can tie at least 41 bags around…around your twig and berries. So first see a lawyer and THEN rush to a doctor!