Alex Gomez was visiting a family ranch when he looked down on the ground and saw a four-foot rattlesnake, and what he did next is what launched him into Crown of Clowns fame! Alex picked up the rattle snake and put it around his NECK so he could snap a selfie. I know this will surprise you, but this didn't go well.
The Snake bit him on the hand and he was rushed to a hospital where he was pumped full of anti-venom. Unfortunately, he will lose his hand. He's not getting much sympathy from anyone at this point . . . and that includes his MOTHER.
When she told him the local news wanted to interview her, he asked her to say no . . . but she told him she was DEFINITELY doing it, because he's a "fool."
Alex, First of all, someone should give you a hand. No really, someone should give you a hand. They can do that now you know.
Alex, I don't mean to pile on here…but if your own mother says you're and idiot. You have to own it.
Lastly, Alex, you obviously need some help on what makes a great self. May I suggest you go to Ellen Tailors Instagram where you will find about 345,000 duck lips BUT NO…I REPEAT NO SNAKES.
Today's Crown of Clowns goes to none other than Josh Duggar who just got busted for using Ashley Madison.com to have an affair. This occurring only a few months after he admitted to abusing his younger sisters when he was a teenager.
Here is what Josh Duggar said this week: "I have been the biggest hypocrite ever. While espousing faith and family values, I have secretly over the last several years been viewing pornography on the internet and this became a secret addiction and I became unfaithful to my wife." He goes on to express shame and apologized to his fans about his "double life" and re-breaking their trust.
His parents also released a statement saying, we "continue to place our trust in God [and] ask for your prayers for Josh, Anna, our grandchildren and our entire family."
1-Josh, you finally said something I agree with…you are a hypocrite.
2-Josh, your parents need to step into the big top, because they are clowns as well! And I'm glad you pray, but now get off your knees and remember…God helps those who help themselves. He has done HIS part…now do yours.
3-Lastly, the funny thing about your statement is when you use the word, "fans." Dude, You don't have fans. Channing Tatum has fans --- Luke Bryan has fans --- you have voyeurs'.
And they love waiting on a train wreck…congratulations you've delivered.
It's Group Therapy time! We appreciate the good advice you share with your fellow Rock-A-Holics, so keep up the good work! Let's see who we're helping today…
Ray is happily married with a great wife. He also has a platonic female friend who suffers from depression, and he tries to be there for her when she needs him. Ray and his female friend meet for coffee, and he lets her take the time to share her problems; they also take walks from time to time. During these walks, they occasionally hold hands.
Well, that sets off an alarm in my head. I take a lot of grief for my strong stand against male-female friendships when at least one of the people is in a relationship with someone else. HOLDING HANDS, Ray?! Seriously?
Ray's wife knows about the friendship, but she doesn't know how close they are, or about the depression. Ray says he's worried about his friend, and he fears that pulling back from their established friendship could send her into a spiral. He wonders if he should explain everything about this friendship to his wife.
I'm throwing my hands up in the air on this one. Men and women should NOT be hanging out if they're not intimately involved, and I'm not changing my stance on that anytime soon (read: ever.) Why would you take on this woman's problems? Let her find a man of her own, and you can focus on your marriage. This is trouble waiting to happen, and that's my last word on the subject.
I don't care about this situation, and it's making me irritated to keep dwelling on it. Let's hear it from you, good people…what do you think Ray should do about this weird little triangle he's built for himself?
Today's Crown of Clowns goes to Everett Lages! Everet is an interesting fella, because he likes to walk around holding his cat. And last week he was very upset when the Emerald City Gentlemen's Club in Murdock, Florida wouldn't let him bring it in! Now, he was able to get the kitty inside the club briefly, but after the cat hissed and showed his claws…he was asked to leave. So Everett called 9-1-1 to complain. He ended up arrested.
Everett … do you know why…why you are so lonely that you have to go to strip clubs to see women? BECAUSE YOU CARRY AROUND A CAT! What part of that isn't creepy to you?
Everett … Everyone knows you can't take a pussycat into a pussycat club, but I can see why you are HISSED OFF!
Lastly … Even our producer Randy is more manly than you…sure he carries around a miniature poodle…but at least it isn't a cat.
A 33-year-old man we'll call Jeremy just tried to pull off his very first bank robbery. And to say he failed miserably would be an understatement. There are a couple of things Jeremy did wrong in his attempt. First, he didn't wear a mask or even a hat. So he had no disguise. Secondly, Jeremy didn't take a gun…instead he took A drawing of a gun. Seriously, he drew a picture of a gun and handed it to the bank teller and told her it was a robbery. She then asked him to go to the back of the line while she got all the money together. So he did just that, and while he was in the back of the line the teller called the police. Jeremy went to jail.
1-While in jail you have got to learn to do something…anything, because you are not good at being bad. You are honestly too dumb to be a crook.
2-There is one job you may be able to handle, think about becoming a program director of a radio station.
3-Jeremy, the bank robber's handbook says, "Draw your gun" not "Draw A Gun!" What were you threatening them with…a paper cut???
During the Toronto Open Nick Kyrgios told his opponent Stanislas Wawrinka that his girlfriend cheated on him with another tennis player. After he heard that news, his whole game was thrown off for the remainder of the match. Following the match Wawrinka had blasted Kyrgios on Twitter. It just seemed to be really rude to do that during the tennis match and for a fellow tennis player. Kyrgios later apologized for the comment. For more on the story click HERE
Mary Castro couldn't take it anymore…her little 5 year-old boy was driving her nuts, and would not behave so she…you won't believe this…but she tied him to a tree in the front yard. Yes right there in the front yard he was tied to a tree and not just for five minutes, but for 45 minutes. She was arrested for child endangerment.
Mommy Mary, from one parent to another let me help you, if your son is misbehaving you don't punish them…you simply buy them an xbox, playstation, or Wii and set them in front of a TV for 12 hours a day like the rest of us do. Sure they are zombies, but what's better than being raised by Grand Theft Auto?
Mary, I don't want to be mean, but it sounds like you need some guidance. But the good new is…when your kids become teenagers they will be able to tell you what to do, because they will know everything!
Lastly, Mary, sweet heart, if anyone understands what you are going through it is me. I have five crazy kids, but listen to me…you never ever…ever tie them to a tree in the front yard. The backyard maybe, but never the front where everyone can see.
Cat Thomas got pulled over in Florida because her tags were expired, but that was the least of her problems. When the officer walked up to her car he quickly noticed her young son bouncing around in backseat with no seatbelt on. And when she put down her window, she smelled like booze and oh yeah...she was driving while breastfeeding her baby. So the officer gave her a field sobriety test and she failed, but she said she had a good reason for that. She had just eaten a couple of burgers that had been marinated in whiskey. She was arrested.
Cat, let's run down the list of violations here: You were drunk…drunk of whisky marinated burgers, You were letting one kid jump around in the back seat like he was a bounce house, & you had another kid latched on your super sucker. Wow…I hate to say it but that is impressive…despicable but impressive.
I know I'm not one to judge, but have you thought about not having more children, because it sounds like you have your hands full. Literally, you had your hands full! When the law says no drinking and driving, that also goes for your baby. He doesn't need to be drinking from the "boob tap of life" while YOU are driving.
I have to be honest, I have got to have one of those burgers!!!
Today’s Crown of Clowns goes to…well…a clown. Seriously, a clown was recently sighted in a Chicago cemetery late at night. The clown apparently stood in front of the cemetery waiting to be illuminated by the headlights of a passing car. Once he was seen, the clown paused, waved slowly for maximum creepy effect — then scaled the 7-foot-tall gate and ran away. Officials investigated and found no vandalism in the cemetery!
Well…this is kind of tougher than I thought it would be…Clown you are a clown, because…dang…because you are a clown. A really really creepy clown.
Mr. Cemetery Clown, you can scale a SEVEN FOOT TALL FENCE. How is it you are running around dressed as a clown at night and not…not in the circus or playing in the NBA?
In seriousness, If you show up when I’m going to visit my sweet Aunt Winnie or Momma Mae or Daddy Bob…I will knock your ass out.