Sabrina Davis of Muncie, Indiana was at barbecue with some friends, and they cooked up a big ole' mess of the always delicious barbecue ribs. And apparently they were AMAZING, because Sabrina spotted one last rib…one last beautiful glistening barbecue rib and went for it.
Well, Angela Watkins told her to get her hands off of it and to quit eatin up all the food! So Sabrina, who stands about 5' 8" and weighs around 260 pounds, then looked at Angie and said, "OH HELLLLLL NO" and then STABBED HER IN THE EYE. And then Sabrina ate the last rib like a piranha!
Luckily, Sabrina didn't make direct contact to the EYE BALL, BUT STILL PEOPLE…she stabbed her over the last rib and ended up getting arrested.
One…Mam, Honey…I don't want to be rude…seriously I'm not being a jerk, but you are 5' 8" and weighs 260 lbs. Give someone else the last rib.
Two…And Anglela, I'm also giving you an honorary Crown of Clowns, because, …well YOU threatened a woman who is 5' 8" 260 lbs! You are like 5 feet nothing! What are you thinking?
Three…Send me your recipe for barbecue sauce, because it is obviously TO DIE FOR!
Defending yourself in court is rarely a good idea, but I can tell you that allowing a STUFFED OWL to defend you in court is NEVER A GOOD IDEA. I kid you not folks, a man by the name of Charles Abbot was in court in Aspen, Colorado this week and brought a stuffed owl…set it on the desk in front of him in the courtroom and said, "This is my attorney Soloman."
To make this story even better, Chuck Abbot was there because he had assaulted another man DURING an alcoholic's anonymous meeting. During the proceedings the judge couldn't help but ask for the credentials of Soloman the Owl. Chuck said, that his Stuffed Owl Attorney had law degrees from Yale, Harvard, and Stanford. He also told the judge that Soloman was a little sensitive.
Now, the guy Chuck assaulted is named Michael and in the end, the judge couldn't make a decision but told them to stay away from each other except on Sundays. Yes, they can be around each other on Sundays because they go to the same CHURCH!
Solomon the STUFFED OWL asked for the case to be dismissed, but the judge rescheduled the hearing for next month.
First of All, Chuckie, why are you in A-A? Remember…no one likes a quitter!
Secondly, if you think the owl is talking and listening to you then you need more than alcoholics anonymous. You are coo coo!
Thirdly, Chuck, you must've been drunk to think an owl is an attorney. Everyone knows lawyers are snakes!
A woman named Danielle Perez won two prizes on "The Price Is Right" yesterday . . . a treadmill and a sauna. The only problem is, Danielle lost her LEGS in an accident ten years ago, and uses a WHEELCHAIR.
Naturally that made it awkward when the prizes were revealed, but Drew Carey didn't address it . . . although he seemed to speed through the pricing game. Danielle didn't address it either . . . but she's been Tweeting about it.
She said they don't offer cash equivalents, and the sauna isn't wheelchair accessible. Obviously it was all an unfortunate coincidence . . . but some people think the show should've made sure it DIDN'T happen.
Luckily Danielle threw water on the 'outrage.' She Tweeted, quote, "Oh come on! Isn't it the most hilarious though? If winning it was wrong, I don't want to be right. I'm still cracking up."
She also Tweeted a screenshot of her reaction on the show, with the caption, quote, "When you win a treadmill on national TV, but you have no feet."
One day, people are going to learn that posting something publicly on Facebook means that . . . gasp . . . people can see it.
27-year-old Kaitlyn Walls is a single mom from Dallas, Texas. Earlier this month, she got a job working at a daycare.
But the morning before she started, she posted on Facebook, quote, "I start my new job today, but I absolutely hate working at daycare." Her new bosses saw it . . . and FIRED her before she could even start.
Then a mob of angry mothers on Facebook found out what she'd written and started attacking her, so she tried to clarify, quote, "Lol, it's all good, I just really hate being around a lot of kids."
That's really not an improvement . . . it might actually be worse.
Kaitlyn says she realizes that she shouldn't have vented about her job before she started . . . and if she DOES have issues in the future, she's not going to put them on Facebook. Quote, "I'm not going to post anything . . . no matter how I feel."
This guy took a bad situation and made it into a HILARIOUSLY bad situation . . . so well done, I guess? 44-year-old Steven Shuler of Monrovia, Indiana was at home on Monday when the cops showed up to arrest him for a probation violation.
He managed to climb through a 16-inch hole to hide inside his walls . . . and it WORKED. The cops thought he was out and they left.
Unfortunately for Steven, that's where his good luck ended. He didn't have any way to get OUT of the walls . . . and he wound up stuck there for more than 24 HOURS.
His ex-wife came by the next day and found him . . . so she decided to call for help. The fire department came and got him out of the wall . . . and he was arrested.
Just because YOU love a random animal doesn't mean it loves you back. 18-year-old Austin Hatfield of Wimauma, Florida captured a four-foot cottonmouth snake last week and decided to keep him as a pet. (Cottonmouths are also called water moccasins.) He's been keeping it in a pillowcase in his girlfriend's house. Well . . . a few days ago, he was cuddling with his new pet and decided to give him a kiss on the mouth. And . . . it BIT him.
Cottonmouths are venomous and can be pretty deadly . . . so Austin was rushed to the hospital in critical condition. Fortunately, he pulled through and now he's been upgraded to good condition. BUT . . . now we add insult to injury. You need a permit in Florida to catch and keep a cottonmouth snake . . . so Austin is being investigated and could be facing charges.
If you are dealing with the loss of a loved one, or even the loss of a relationship through divorce or a breakup please listen to my interview with my friend and grief expert Janelle Biagioni by clicking HERE! :)
These are the acronyms you need to watch out for if you are a parent:
YOUR KID HAS SOMETHING TO HIDE CD9: Short for “Code 9,” which means parents are around. KPC: Keeping Parents Clueless MOS: Mom Over Shoulder P911: Parent Alert PAL: Parents Are Listening PAW: Parents Are Watching PIR: Parent In Room POS: Parent Over Shoulder
YOUR KID SHOULDN’T BE INVOLVED IN THIS 143, 459 or ILU: I love you 1174: Invited to a wild party 420: Marijuana GNOC: Get Naked On Camera GYPO: Get Your Pants Off AMEZRU: I Am Easy, Are You? IWSN: I Want Sex Now KFY or K4Y: Kiss For You KOTL: Kiss On The Lips NIFOC: Nude In Front Of The Computer RUH: Are You Horny? TDTM: Talk Dirty To Me