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Posts from May 2013


Fitz's 10 Commandments of Marriage
1-Thou shall not cheat
2-Thou shall get medicine in the middle of the night
3-Thou shall forego sexual contact every once in a while
4-Thou shall fight and scream during your fight
5-Thou shall compliment your spouse
6-Thou shall date each other (date nights)
7-Thou shall flirt with thy spouse
8-Thou shall laugh together
9-Thou shall rub feet and scratch backs
10-Thou shall cuddle sometimes without having sexual contact
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9 WEIRD QUESTIONS ON DATING WEBSITE SURVEY

The website OK Cupid has about five million monthly users. And the survey they ask you to take has some pretty weird questions on it. Here are the top nine. See if you think any of them would help you find Mr. or Mrs. Right . . .

 

1. In a certain light, wouldn't nuclear war be exciting? Granted, if you say "yes," it probably does reveal something about your personality . . . and also maybe that you're a psycho.

 

2. Do you think women have an obligation to keep their legs shaved? The word "obligation" is key, because it makes a "yes" answer sound sexist. So if you're a man, the safe answer is obviously "no." 

 

3. Which is worse: starving children or abused animals? Luckily, one of the options is, quote, "Neither, both are bad." But you can also choose "Neither, both are GOOD." (???)

 

4. How frequently do you bathe? On that one, the option you SHOULDN'T pick is, quote, "Once a week or less."

 

5. Do spelling mistakes annoy you? Apparently the implication is that you're not very smart if they DON'T annoy you. Or if they do, you might be the type of person who nitpicks everything.

 

6. Would you ever eat something out of the trash? Which is called "freeganism" . . . like "veganism" with the word "free" at the beginning. Obviously a "yes" answer is a turn-off for around 99.9% of people. However, it does suggest that you're low-maintenance.

 

7. Underarms can be a hairy subject. How do you maintain your pits? Choices for that one include, "I occasionally trim," and quote, "I let it grow wild and free." (So if you're counting, that's two questions about body hair.)

 

8. Would the world be a better place if people with low IQ's were not allowed to reproduce? It's not clear what exactly they're fishing for with that one, but the safe answer is obviously "no."

 

9. What do you think of when you hear the word "cell"? That's cell with a "c" . . . as in a "cell phone," not what a salesman does. Apparently if you say "cell phone," "jail cell," or "cellular biology," it reveals different things about your personality . . . like that you're into science, you've been in jail, or just that you own a mobile phone. (???) (LiveScience.com)


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Great Uses for Vapor Rub!!
  1. Achy Breaky Muscles
    Vicks relieves sore, overworked muscles. It increases circulation and provides almost instant aid. Use a generous portion and apply it all over the aching area. (Be sure to warn your bed-mate.)

  2. Get Rid of Nasty Nail Fungus
    Rub VapoRub on your toenails if you suspect you have a fungus. Within days, the nail will turn dark—this means the Vicks is killing the fungus. As your toenail grows out, the dark part will grow off and you will have fungus-free feet. Keep applying the ointment over a period of two weeks to fully cleanse nail beds of any remaining bacteria.

  3. Stop Your Cat from Scratching
    Cats are notorious for scratching every hard surface they get their claws on. To prevent Miss Kitty from ruining your doors, walls, and windows, apply a small amount of VapoRub to these areas. Cats detest the smell and will steer clear.

  4. Pet Pee-Pee Deterrent
    If your dog or cat is not yet potty trained, put an open bottle of Vicks on the area he or she likes to mark as their territory. The smell will discourage them from lifting their legs and wetting your rug.

  5. Go Away Mosquitoes
    Vicks wards off mosquitoes. Apply small dabs of Vicks VapoRub to your skin and clothes and mosquitoes will steer clear. If you do get bitten, apply Vicks to the area and cover it with a Band-Aid to relieve itching.

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The New Smash Hit, "Yoga Pants" as sung on Fitz in the Morning
Hello All,
    This morning on the show I debuted my new favorite song that I have written and it is about Yoga Pants!   Who doesn't love a great pair of Yoga Pants?   Click Here to Give it a listen!!!
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