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Tony


Posts from May 2013


What are You Kidding Me: Cheetos & Dr. Pepper save the day?
Out of Kansas … All Patched Up

Jesse Dimmick of Topeka broke into the home of Jared and Lindsay Rowley.  He burst into the home and held them captive with a knife.  Well over time Jared and Lindsay calmed him down and even gained his trust by…wait for it…by giving him Cheetos and Dr. Pepper.  And as he began to relax they put on the always calming movie "Patch Adams" starring Robin Williams.  And Jesse got so relaxed that he fell asleep on the couch and so Lindsay and Jared ran out of the home and called the police. 

When cops arrived Jesse was still asleep, and probably still had the bag of Cheetos under his arm!  But now Jesse is suing them…he is suing Jared and Lindsay because he said that when he broke into their home they promised not to turn him in and they did.  So he says they broke a verbal contract and he wants $235,000!  
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What are You Kidding Me Story: You can drink how many cups of coffee?


Out of Australia … Grab Another Cup

It’s not often that a study comes out that gives us the green light on one of our addictions so let’s enjoy this one!  Australia’s Institute for Medical Research is now saying that you and I should…yes I said SHOULD drink coffee.  And they say we shouldn’t only have one cup, no not just 2 or 3 cups, but we should have 4 cups of coffee a day!

At four cups, the good chemicals in the coffee help decrease your risk of heart disease and diabetes.  And drinking four cups of coffee can also help you lose weight.  Now, less than 4 you don’ get the benefits, and over four cups can lead to negative health effects and put you at MORE risk of gaining weight.  

***I'm sure this will come as a shock to you, but I did not attend medical school.  So please talk to your doctor and do your own research on topics of this nature.  I would really like for us to be friends on Facebook!  Please click here to show me your love! :)  

Out of Rhode Island … Pony Up

On Memorial Day William Savian was busy working parties with his little Shetland pony, and once the day was done he had one thing on his mind…going to the liquor store.  So he walked to the liquor and paused before going in to notice a sign that read, “No dogs or cats.”  So it said no dogs or cats, but it didn’t say anything about ponies.  So in Willie and his pony went!  They went into the liquor store to grab a bottle of booze (see photos below). 

And as you can imagine the owner wasn't thrilled with having the little equestrian beast in his store, but he was going to let it slide until…until “Paul” The Pony dropped a DEUCE on the floor!  Yep, his pony pooped right there in the floor!  And Willie took off without cleaning it up!  So the owner called the police who tracked down Willie and asked him to go clean up his pony’s mess, and if he would do so then no charges would be brought against him.  He grabbed a pooper scooper and took care of it.  And the owner of the store has added a "No Horses Allowed" sign to the front door!  


I would really like for us to be friends on Facebook!  Please click here to show me your love! :)  


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What are You Kidding Me Story: He is the oldest man alive!

Out of Japan … The Last Man Standing

There is a man in Japan that is in last place…sort of.  I’m talking about Jiroemon Kumura and he is the last man alive who was born in the 19th century.  So to say this guy is old is an understatement since he has been on earth since 1897, which makes him so old that Moses signed his year book.  Okay that was lame, and for those of you who can't do the math that means that he is 116 years-old.  

There are at least 10 women alive who were born in 1899, but Jiro is the oldest man alive and called a super centurion.  And if you ask him for tips on how to have a long life he only has two.  He eats very small meals and spends a ton of time sleeping.  So the next time someone says, “Don’t sleep your life away” tell them to mind their own business. 

Out of Florida … Too Hot to Handle



For some reason I think you women are going to LOVE this story, because it is about older men who think they are Casanovas, but soon realize they are SUCKERS!  In south Florida police are warning men about a gang of hot women who are preying on rich guys.  At least 13 men have recently called the police and said that they were at a bar when 2 or 3 beautiful women began flirting with them.  The little hot honey bunnies eventually ask the aging studs if they want to go back to his place for a “blue pill” rendezvous.  Well when they get to the dude’s place they drug him so he passesout, and then they steal his stuff!  

Remember, 13 men have come forward so we can only guess there are many more who are either too embarrased or too MARRIED to report the crimes.  Police in Broward County state that AT LEAST $300,000 in cash and other expensive items like Rolexes, iPads, and credit cards have been stolen from the overly hormonal men.  Below and to the left you will find a sketch of one of the women they police officers are looking for at this time.  And on the right you will see a photo of our cohost Ellen Tailor.  hummmmm


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What are You Kidding Me: Does she really look like Taylor Swift?
Out of England … Mistaken Identity

18 year-old Xenna Kristian just got beat up.  I’m talking about a major UFC-Cage Match style beat down from another chick.  Poor littl Xenna even had to go to the hospital!  So why would someone beat her up?   Well some believe it is because she looks like Taylor Swift!  No, I mean she really looks like Taylor Swift, and so much so that she makes a living as a T-Swift impersonator.  

Now, word is that Xenna is a little obnoxious with her Taylor Swift impersonating as in she always…always dresses and attempts to behave like the billionaire breakup singer.  And so there is a very good chance she was beat up because she is just an obnoxious snob and not just the fact she looks like Taylor.  

You can be the judge on just how much she looks like Taylor by checking out the pictures below.  What do you think?

For more What are You Kidding Me Updates & to learn more about my sexy self please friend me on Facebook by clicking HERE!


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Topics: Human Interest
People: Taylor SwiftXenna Kristian




 
What are You Kidding Me Story: What's 18 feet long and weighs 126 lbs?
Out of Florida … What a Snake

Jason Leon is either stupid or very very brave!  And I say that because as he was walking there in the Sunshine State he noticed something very large slither into the bushes, and instead of running away from it...he went toward it!  He walked over to try and get it.  Well, Jason didn’t just try to catch it…he reached into the bushes and pulled the long slithering beast out by its tail.  And when I say long, I’m saying he pulled out a Burmese PYTHON that was 18” 2’ long!!!!  And then the python wrapped itself around him, but Jason wasn’t going down without a fight so he somehow pulled out his knife and began stabbing the satanic beast!  Jason was able to kill the snake which weighed 126 lbs. 

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Locations: Florida
People: Jason Leon




 
What are You Kidding Me: A Beer Thief Leaves What Behind???

Out of Kentucky … Amazing Grace

For years Dee Samad and her hubby knew that someone was stealing beer from their backyard kegerator, but they never could catch the little thief.  Well last week they got a surprise.  They came out to find a note that read, “Enclosed is a sum of cash that my friends and I owe you and your family to repay you for all of the times we have stolen from your poolside fridge over the past few years."  In the letter he continued to apologize and said he couldn’t bring himself to apologize in person, but he hoped she would forgive him. 

He basically said that he had found Jesus and wanted to try and make things right.  He left them with $140 in cash and Dee says she would love to meet him and he is welcome to come by for a visit anytime!  


Out of Kentucky … The Bottom of Their Class

The graduation will be a little smaller this year at East Carter High School.  Not because they have a small graduating class, but because 7 of them have been banned from the celebration!  Why you ask? 

Well because the rambunctious boys got together and released a few crickets into the hallways of the school.  And by a few I mean that they released TEN THOUSAND CRICKETS!  And while that is very funny…it was also very expensive to get rid of all of them!  
 
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Topics: Human Interest
Locations: Kentucky




 
What are You Kidding Me: He paid how much for a love potion?

Out of Spain … He didn’t See it Coming

46 year-old Jose Zaragoza went to a fortune teller for a very rational thing…he asked her to put a LOVE spell on a woman he fancied.  And so she put the spell of romance on the target of his affection and…and…nothing.  The spell did not work so Jose and his friends broke into the fortune tellers house to make her give him his love spell money back!  And that is where the real WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME part of this story comes in.  How much do you think he paid for the love spell?  Try $212,000!  

FYI, Jose is a crook and embezzled almost 8 million dollars from a professional soccer association and he is being investigated for that crime, and he was arrested for breaking into the fortune tellers home! 

Out of Ohio … Minor Infraction

Jaron McGee was out teaching his daughter how to drive last week.  He was doing all that a good daddy should do by teaching her how to use her brakes, how to accelerate, and how to park.  And because of that, and well the fact that she ended up hitting a tree, he was arrested.  Why you ask?  Because while teaching your daughter to drive is a good thing…you should probably wait until they are 15 or 16 years old.  Jaron’s daughter is NINE! 


Out of Australia … The Camera doesn’t Lie

We don’t have a name for this poor guy so we will call him Homer, and Homer believed that he had a ghost in his house.  He knew it because at night he could hear the little gobblin sneaking around.  So he set up a camera to catch him, and he did just that!  Well, he didn’t catch footage of a ghost, but he did get footage of his girlfriend.  He got footage of his new girlfriend AND his son…uh…sneaking around.  The girlfriend is 28 and the son is 16 so charges are pending. 
 

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Topics: Human Interest
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Locations: Ohio
People: Jose Zaragoza




 
What are You Kidding Me: She says she is SO PRETTY that she can't work!

 


Out of England … Pretty Woman?

Laura Femee is 33 years-old and says that she had to quit her job as a scientific researcher in London.  And Laura says it’s because she is just too darn hot!  Yes, the very humble Laura says she is so gorgeous that she could not be taken seriously by the men she worked around.  She wanted them to see a professional, but in her words all they noticed was her amazing face and body.  And because of this...because they were so busy flirting and ogling her she could not move up in the scientific research world.  

And poor little Laura says she even tried showing up to work with baggy scrubs and no makeup on, but that did work either.  Heck no, Laura said that even when she didn’t wear makeup the men noticed her because of her, quote, “natural attractiveness.”  

In other words, Laura is saying that she is so incredibly hot that she can’t EVEN make herself ugly.  And as for the women she worked with…how do you think they liked luscious Laura?  You guessed it, they hated her, and she says they hated her because of her beauty.  Sure it had nothing to do with the fact that she thinks she is the hottest woman on the planet! 

So you tell me by clicking here and going to my Facebook page...too hot or not?

  
 

 

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Topics: Human Interest
Locations: London
People: Laura Femee




 
What are You Kidding Me: He got drunk and stuck where?
Out of Ireland … Not So Happy

Early Tuesday morning a drunk man in his 20s went into McDonalds to get his munchies on, and so he ordered himself the always affordable and delicious Happy Meal with a chocolate shake.  And then the full size man walked over and locked himself…locked himself into a high chair. 

Yeah, our little drunk buddy was just having some fun, but it all quit being fun when he found out he was literally stuck…stuck IN the high chair.  In the end, it took three cops to get the guy out of the high chair, but no charges were filed.  I love the news release from McDonalds Ireland who simply said, “McDonald’s is aware of the incident…we recommend that children don’t use the high chair without adult supervision.” 

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE MY FRIEND ON FACEBOOK PLEASE CLICK HERE! :) 

Out of Washington … Dude, where’s my car?

On Tuesday, Virginia Maiden of Kennewick woke up to discover that her Toyota 4Runner had been stolen.  So she called the law, filed the report, and then caught a ride to her job at McDonalds.  And about 2 hours later while Jenny was working hard in the “Mickey Dees” drive through a a midsize SUV pulled up.  A 4Runner that looked just like hers and you know why?  IT WAS HER 4 RUNNER! 

And when the little thief pulled up to the window she played it cool as she handed the thief her amazingly crisp and perfectly cooked chicken wrap.  Then Jenny rushed to call the police.  And the thief,  one 22 year-old Kathy York, was quickly arrested within the hour.  By the way, when cops found her she admitted stealing the 4Runner so that she could go to JcPenny & Sears where she stole a bunch of clothes.  At least she has great taste. 
 
Out of Georgia … Burning Down The House

Phillip Bennett has been very upset, well, downright ticked off at his neighbor Marty.  Phil says that Marty lets his grass grow way too high and it looks horrible.  So he walked over to his house and told him that he better cut his grass by Wednesday or…or…or he would turn him into the Home Owners Association! 

Well Wednesday came and went and Marty didn’t cut his lawn.  So The Real Deal Phil walked over and decided to teach him a lesson by lighting, yes lighting his house on fire.  No kidding!  He walked over, broke out one of Marty's windows and poured gasoline onto the floor and struck a match!  And he did this while the entire family, which included a 3 year-old, were inside.  Thankfully no one was injured, but the house is torched and Phil is facing a ton of charges.   Did I mention that this all happened over grass…not even the good grass, but the grass grass! 
 
Out of Florida … Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

Last week Carlos Baca was backing up his pickup when he slammed right into another car.  But instead of stopping and exchanging info, he TOOK OFF!  The other driver simply took down his license plate number and called the cops.  They traced Carlos down and he had what I consider to be a very valid excuse.  He said that he had to rush off because he, “just had some bad Chinese food.” 

The cops even noted in the report that he did indeed appear to be on the verge of, and I quote, “defecating in his pants.”  So while the coppers were sympathetic to Carlos getting bad won tons, and did cut him a break on the hit and run…they still sited him for having a suspended license. 
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What are You Kidding Me: He is drunk and STUCK in what???
Out of Ireland … Not So Happy

Early Tuesday morning a drunk man in his 20s went into McDonalds to get his munchies on, and so he ordered himself the always affordable and delicious Happy Meal with a chocolate shake.  And then the full size man walked over and locked himself…locked himself into a high chair. 

Yeah, our little drunk buddy was just having some fun, but it all quit being fun when he found out he was literally stuck…stuck IN the high chair.  In the end, it took three cops to get the guy out of the high chair, but no charges were filed.  I love the news release from McDonalds Ireland who simply said, “McDonald’s is aware of the incident…we recommend that children don’t use the high chair without adult supervision.” 

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE MY FRIEND ON FACEBOOK PLEASE CLICK HERE! :) 

Out of Washington … Dude, where’s my car?

On Tuesday, Virginia Maiden of Kennewick woke up to discover that her Toyota 4Runner had been stolen.  So she called the law, filed the report, and then caught a ride to her job at McDonalds.  And about 2 hours later while Jenny was working hard in the “Mickey Dees” drive through a a midsize SUV pulled up.  A 4Runner that looked just like hers and you know why?  IT WAS HER 4 RUNNER! 

And when the little thief pulled up to the window she played it cool as she handed the thief her amazingly crisp and perfectly cooked chicken wrap.  Then Jenny rushed to call the police.  And the thief,  one 22 year-old Kathy York, was quickly arrested within the hour.  By the way, when cops found her she admitted stealing the 4Runner so that she could go to JcPenny & Sears where she stole a bunch of clothes.  At least she has great taste. 
 
Out of Georgia … Burning Down The House

Phillip Bennett has been very upset, well, downright ticked off at his neighbor Marty.  Phil says that Marty lets his grass grow way too high and it looks horrible.  So he walked over to his house and told him that he better cut his grass by Wednesday or…or…or he would turn him into the Home Owners Association! 

Well Wednesday came and went and Marty didn’t cut his lawn.  So The Real Deal Phil walked over and decided to teach him a lesson by lighting, yes lighting his house on fire.  No kidding!  He walked over, broke out one of Marty's windows and poured gasoline onto the floor and struck a match!  And he did this while the entire family, which included a 3 year-old, were inside.  Thankfully no one was injured, but the house is torched and Phil is facing a ton of charges.   Did I mention that this all happened over grass…not even the good grass, but the grass grass! 
 
Out of Florida … Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

Last week Carlos Baca was backing up his pickup when he slammed right into another car.  But instead of stopping and exchanging info, he TOOK OFF!  The other driver simply took down his license plate number and called the cops.  They traced Carlos down and he had what I consider to be a very valid excuse.  He said that he had to rush off because he, “just had some bad Chinese food.” 
The cops even noted in the report that he did indeed appear to be on the verge of, and I quote, “defecating in his pants.”  So while the coppers were sympathetic to Carlos getting bad won tons, and did cut him a break on the hit and run…they still sited him for having a suspended license. 
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What are You Kidding Me Story of The Day: How'd he end up in his own trunk?
Out of Maine … Making the List 

This is a public service announcement.  If you are going to sell anything using Craiglist or any other website be very careful, and here is an example of why.  A 19 year-old by the name of Alexander Gorham listed his 2004 gray BMW for sale on Craigslist.  Now forget about the fact that this 19 year-old had a beamer and you don’t, but think about the fact that he agreed to meet the buyer at night in the parking lot of a Motel 6. 

Alex showed up with his beamer and then the buyer Travis Landry showed up with a gun.  He then stuffed the young man into the trunk of the car and drove, drove, and drove.  In fact, he drove for 450 miles and finally pulled into a Dunkin Donuts and opened the trunk and told Alex to run.  The car thief was caught the next day and faces multiple charges.  
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Topics: Human Interest
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Locations: Maine
People: Alexander Gorham




 
What are You Kidding Me: Big Pimpin at 75 years-old!


Out of New Jersey … Cracked Up

James Parham and Cheryl Chaney just got busted.  They were busted for running a prostitution ring and…and for selling the brain rot known as crack.  No one is sure who tipped the cops off to James & Cheryl's drug dealing and house of ill repute, but it was likely one of their neighbors.  One of their neighbors there at the Senior Citizen Housing Complex!  Yes it was slightly suspicious when tons of young people were hanging out at the Senior Citizen Housing Hood!  And lets not even talk about some of the sexy senior ladies of the night!  No kidding, apparently a couple of the senior citizens were supplementing their income by working the corners of the "bingo hall!"  Yep, Jimmy was big pimpin at 75 & Cheryl is right behind him at 67, but they may still do some time.  And by the way, they both had clean records (news story below).    



Out of Florida … High to Low

Anna Pierre ran for the Mayor of Miami and without a doubt she had the most power…the most powerful endorsement of any candidate.  And it was right there on all of her campaign posters and on her commercials.  It said, “Anna Pierre is endorsed by Jesus Christ.”  Yes, Anna had talked to Jesus and said He made it clear that He…the Messiah… endorsed her for Mayor of Miami.  Well the results are in and Anna & Jesus placed last, and I do mean last.  As in out of the millions and millions of people in Miami she got 56 votes or .83 percent of the votes.  Anna who is a very sweet person and registered nurse says she is sad, but she knows that Jesus still loves her.  

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What are You Kidding Me: He ate 6 steaks and 57 cans of what??
Out of Kentucky … Whipped into Shape

Trevor Runyon may be nuttier than a bag of squirrel poop, but when he decides to do some shoplifting he does it with style.  Last week Trev got busted for stealing from the ValuMarket, because he left a few empty…well…he left 57 cans of empty whipped cream behind!  So when the manager noticed all the empty cans the next morning he thought that he better check the security cam.  He wanted to see just what was going on in his store at night.  And when he played back the footage there was Trevor running around the store after they had closed down for the night.

And not only did he go through 57 cans of whipped cream, but he also had himself a 6 pack of Bud, helped himself to some smokes, cooked and ate 6 steaks, and since he had some steak he also threw in some shrimp, and then topped it off with some birthday cake.  He was arrested, but my guess is that he would say it was worth it!

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Topics: Hospitality_Recreation
Locations: Kentucky
People: Trevor Runyon




 
What are You Kidding Me: A woman does what to her CROP DUSTING boyfriend?
Out of Florida .. Crop Dusting

Deborah Burns got revenge against her husband who walked past her and let one go straight up her nose.  Basically, her hubby Willie walked by her while she was sitting down.  And when his bootie was right in her face...he broke wind like a power generating windmill, or as we say in the south, he busted ass right in her face!!!    

She then yelled at him, and let him know that he was a disgusting beast, and he then told her to shut her $#%! mouth.  And that was a very big mistake, because "Deranged Debbie" then grabbed an eight inch KNIFE and threw it at him.  And unfortunately for Willie it hit and stuck…stuck right in his gut.  He survived, but Debbie on the hand will go to jail because she was already on probation for aggravated assault.
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Topics: Law_Crime
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Locations: Florida
People: Deborah Burns




 
What are You Kidding Me: A woman survives her husband shooting her with what?
Out of Brazil … Open Wide
 
Elisangela (Elis) Rosa has always said that her husband is accident prone and now she has proof, because he just accidently did something NO one and I do mean NO one in the world has ever done.  And in turn, she has survived something that NO one and I do mean NO one that I know of has survived.  And that is…she survived her husband accidently shooting a harpoon into her mouth!  "The Rio de Janeiro State Health Department said in a statement that the woman`s husband was cleaning his spear gun when it went off, firing a harpoon that hit her cervical spine. (NuttyNews)"  As we said, she is going to survive and likely find a new husband. 
 
Out of Texas … Search & Rescue
 
On Tuesday night Pete Rodriguez came up with a GREAT game to play with his girlfriends 14 year-old son.  I'm guess it went something like this, "I tell ya what “Jim Bob” you run around the yard and I’ll pretend…pretend to be tracing your movements with my riffle!"  Got it?  The kid ran around the yard and Pete would follow his movements with his freaking gun!  And did I mention that the gun was loaded? 

Well you see where this is going…Pete accidently shot the kid right in the thigh.  And at that point you know that the kids mother rushed him to the hospital right?  NOPE!  She went on WebMD to try and figure out how to treat a gunshot wound.  And after…wait for it…after 7 hours of trying to treat it herself...she then finally took him to the hospital where he is going to be fine.  Pete on the other hand was arrested.  

Out of Georgia … Going to The Hood (click link for video)
 
Elton Kim was standing in the parking lot of his dry cleaners when all of a sudden a lady backed out of her parking space and right into his car.  So he ran over to her car and told her to wait, because he was going to call the police to come to the scene so they could file a report.  Well as he hung up the phone he noticed the lady getting ready to take off so he did the logical thing and ran over and jumped on the hood of her car to get her to stop…it didn’t work.  And cops must have known something was wrong when they were driving down Holcomb Bridge Road and coming toward them was a woman speeding with an Asian man screaming on the hood of her car!  Well, finally the lady slowed down enough for Mr. Kim to jump off…but the psycho lady is still on the loose.  


For those of you who may want to know my thoughts on real life, and not just the stupid news of the day...I have a personal blog at http://bit.ly/11Xzo21 :)

Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your time today...I hope I was able to bring a smile to your face!

Tony
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Tags :  
Locations: GeorgiaTexas
People: Elton KimJim BobPete Rodriguez




 
What are You Kidding Me: 3 Nuns did what???

Out of Columbia … A Nasty Habit

 
Early…very early Saturday morning, 3 nuns were getting on a flight from Columbia to the Caribbean, which to me seems a little suspicious.  Sorry, but when I think about Nuns I don’t think about a place where the booze and thong bikinis flow!  But I digress.  3 Nuns were getting on a plane and security thought they seemed very nervous.  So they pulled the Sisters aside and within seconds all 3 of them began to cry…they had a complete melt down. 

Well wait, they didn’t have a complete melt down until security found over 2 kilos of cocaine under each one of their little habits.  Then they began to confess and say they were being forced into it and here is the shocker…they aren’t real nuns!  But they will still have to answer to law enforcement and Jesus.  


Out of South Carolina … Cracked Up

 
Cedric was going to the courthouse in Spartanburg County.  Unfortunately for Cedric he has been known to get in a little trouble here and there and so he knew the routine.  So he walked in and began emptying out his pockets for the police officer working security. 

The officer held out that little bucket and Cedric dropped in his cell phone, his keys, a lighter, and then he opened a small container and emptied out his razor blade and a large rock…a crack rock!  He was arrested for possession, but gotta give him some credit for honesty! 


Out of Brazil … It's A Whiz 

Well you can now get wifi everything, and I do mean everything thanks to Huggies.  Yes, the diaper company has installed a wifi device into some of their diapers.  And every time your baby takes a whiz in one of their comfy little pee catchers it will shoot you a Tweet! 

It is all based on the temperature change that takes place when your baby goes to the bathroom.  This is great news, because now parents can begin staring at their phone and NOT paying any attention to their children beginning at birth!


 

Please share my blog with your friends on Facebook, Twitter, and beyond!  These are taken from my What are You Kidding Me script that I write for the show daily.  I do my best to be 100% entertaining with the stories and at least 80% accurate on the details!

Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your time today...I hope I was able to bring a smile to your face!

Tony


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What are You Kidding Me: He called 911 on his mother why?

Maria Carreiro just won the lottery, and she said that she could not believe it when she looked at her Lottery Max Ticket and saw $40,000!  She then went to the lottery office to get her 40 grand.  There was only one problem…she had made a mistake.  Poor Maria had misread the ticket.  She hadn’t won $40,000!  However, she had won FORTY MILLION DOLLARS! 

Enjoy your day stuck in your lame ass cubicle working for the man! 

Out of Eastern Europe … A Picture is not Worth This

A man was on a fishing trip on Lake Shestakov when he saw a cute and furry little beaver.  So he pulled out his camera and walked over to get closer to take a really good pic.  Well apparently "Billy The Beaver" does not like his picture taken, because he turned around and ran straight at the fisherman!  And before he could say, “Holy Crap I’m being attacked by a beaver” he was being attacked by a beaver.  The furry beast jumped on his thigh and began biting into it like a fat man on a chicken leg.  Unfortunately one of them survived the attack and it was not…was not the photographer. 

Out of Florida … Wahhhhhhhhh

 
Vincent Valvo called 911 to report a crime…well…what he thought was a crime.  He told the 911 operator that he wanted to report his mother.  Yes Vinnie was turning in his own mother, because he didn’t like the way she was speaking to him.  He said she was being mean to him and apparently this hurt his feelings.  When the 911 operator told him there wasn’t anything they could do about that he hung up.  He later called back to complain again about his mommy.  So the operator sent an officer out to the address and they arrested…they arrested Vincent!  Why?  Because he is almost 20 years-old!



 
 
This was taken from my What are You Kidding Me script that I write for the show each day.  I do my best to get the facts correct, but there are no guarantees! 

Thanks for stopping by & please hit "like" & if you don't mind share it with your friends.  

Tony
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What are You Kidding Me Story: Man beats up a Storm Trooper & Ghost Buster!!



TODD THE TURTLE STORY IS AT THE BOTTOM, BUT DON'T SKIP THE FIRST TWO!



Out of Maine … The Force wasn’t with them!
 
Saturday was the nationwide event called Free Comic Book Day, which is a day that many of the comic book nerds come together to celebrate their quirkiness.  But there always has to be that one guy to spoil the day, and that guy was Adam Barnes who showed up, yes he showed up at a comic book event, looking for a fight.  And the evil Adam first went after a Storm Trooper and literally started beating him up before a Ghost Buster stepped in to defend his buddy.  Adam then busted the Ghost Buster in the face.  But while Adam was able to take out a Ghost Buster & a Storm Trooper…he was no match for Maine’s State Trooper who tased his butt!

Out of Pennsylvania … It’s on The List

Carolyn Murray was cruising, well actually swerving, through the streets of Whitemarsh Township when she crashed into a 76 year-old drivers car.  When coppers arrived they thought that Carol seemed a little out of it, because she was slurring her speech, didn’t know where she was, and couldn’t find her license and registration. 

Well the good officers helped her search and in the process they found some evidence to explain why Carol was so kooky!   They found a To-Do List that had the following on it: 
  • Chicken breast
  • German potato salad
  • Pepsi,
  • Xanax
  • Cocaine
  • Get High
  • Muscle Relaxers
 They obviously had caught her somewhere around "get high" and the muscle relaxers!
 

According to a study that just came out…7% of men and 2% of women say if they see an animal in the road they will INTENTIALLY try to hit it!  Well, a TV station in Oklahoma City thought they would put those stats to the test by using a turtle… a rubber turtle thank God.  So last week, they put Todd The Rubber Turtle in the street and believe it or not it wasn’t long until 4 drivers went to the dark side.  And they intentionally swerved to take Todd The Turtle out! 

And then one guy slammed his brakes, jumped out and grabbed the little guy and sped off…he stole Todd!!!  Well the TV station chased that guy down to get their turtle back and he said he swiped it because he races turtles.  He said he kept waiting for it to pee on him, and let them know their turtle would NOT be winning any races.  They then informed the genius that it wasn’t real. 

 

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What are You Kidding Me Story: A 14 year-old hires a what?
Out of Wisconsin … Minor Infraction

There is a 14 year-old boy in Milwaukee who has gotten a very tough, but good lesson on life.  The young fella decided to use the internet to solicit, how should we say this, he used the internet to solicit himself a lady friend for the evening.  Well, let's just say it, the little perv hired himself a prostitute!    
He went on the internet and hired one Dareka Brooks who is 22 years old to come over for a visit.  And Dereka showed up to the little fellas house when his parents weren’t there.  And our little adolescent stud was very very excited to meet his new friend Dareka…very excited so she told him to go sit on his bed and she would be right in.  And when she went in...she gave him the surprise of his life.  No not that...she surprised him by spraying him with pepper spray and stealing his iPad, and to top it off she even grabbed his piggy bank and made a run for it!  But once Dareka turned the iPad on the coppers were able to trace it right to her address and arrest her.  And for our little 14 year-old, well his parents say he will be grounded until he is 21.   


Out of Ohio … Double Trouble  from Nutty Fact Blog
These stories never get old…I’m talking about twins separated and birth only to find each other later and realize they have a lot in common.  And that is what happened to twin boys born in Ohio who were separated at birth. Unknown to each other, both families named the boys James.  And both James grew up not even knowing of the other, yet both sought law-enforcement training, both had abilities in mechanical drawing and carpentry, and each had married women named Linda. 
 
They both had sons whom one named James Alan and the other named James Allan.  The twin brothers also divorced their wives and married other women - both named Betty. And they both owned dogs which they named Toy. Forty years after their childhood separation, the two men were reunited.
 

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Topics: Human Interest
Locations: MilwaukeeOhioWisconsin
People: Dareka BrooksJames AlanJames Allan




 
What are You Kidding Me Story: A Family of 5 Survives a Fire how??

Craig Jackson was at home with his wife and 3 children when his house caught on fire due to an electrical problem.  All 5….yes all 5 of them were trapped upstairs with nowhere to go, but out the window!  But how could 5 people jump from the second story window and not get injured or worse?  Well, it turned out to be no problem since they had just bought one of the kids a large…very large trampoline.  So dad risked injury by jumping first, and then limped across the lawn and pulled the trampoline underneath of the window for the rest of the family.  All 5 are fine and JUMPING with joy!  

 
Out of Indiana ... Going to The Hood

Aaron Stefanski was already drunk, but decided that he needed more booze so he headed off to the liquor store.  And it wasn't long until he was arrested for a DUI.  The cops knew without a doubt he was dunk, and it wasn’t that he was speeding…he wasn’t speeding.  It wasn’t that he was swerving back and forth, because he wasn’t.  No, they knew he was probably drunk because he had 4 young kids strapped to the hood of his car!  The kids were actually enjoying the ride, but dad was arrested after having a blood alcohol level of twice the legal limit. 
 
PLEASE COPY AND SHARE THE FOLLOWING LINK TO MY BLOG WITH YOUR FRIENDS:  http://bit.ly/18hO158
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The What are You Kidding Me Story of The Day
Out of South Carolina … That’s Just Cold

Ladies and gentlemen this is a horrendous story of tragedy and moral degradation!  It is story about the battle between Gloversville’s Sno Cone Joe & Mr. Ding-A-Ling!  Sno Cone Joe has always been the king of the ice cream trucks around town, but out of nowhere Mr. Din-A-Ling came on to the scene.  And it wasn’t long until Sno Cone Joe let Ding-A-Ling know that there wasn’t enough crushed ice & sugar in the city for both of them.  And he did so by driving the Sno Cone cruiser right beside of the Ding-A-Ling mobile and screaming obscenities and threats. 
 
On one occasion he screamed, “This is my town.”  He also followed Ding-A-Ling around town using his powerful stereo to play his ice cream truck music louder than Ding-A-Lings.  I told you it was vicious…finally when things almost became violent Mr. Ding-A-Ling has pressed charges against Sno Cone Joe and the two are headed to court.      
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My Confession to The World
I have confession to make, and before I do I don't want you to literally read too much into it.  My confession is that I am having a midlife crisis.  Now that doesn't mean I'm shopping for a new sport's car, and it definitely doesn't mean I'm looking for another woman.  I have a very crappy car, but I have a hottie at home that makes me very happy.  However, this isn't a joke and in fact it is painful for me to discuss it.  I told my wife Amy last night that this is a first for me.  Meaning, I'm usually an "open book" with my thoughts and feelings, but this has been such a difficult time in my life that I haven't been able to share it.  

It likely started surfacing a couple of years ago when I turned 40ish, but I began stuffing the emotional baggage away by trying to achieve greatness in many different areas.  Side note, when deflated I tend to look for ways to inflate...and I have used dieting, excercise, ministry, radio, and many other things to do so.  However, over the last few months that strategy quit working and then it hit me like a ton of aging bricks.  It being the anxiety attacks that launched with full force when the dermatologist removed what he thought could be precancerous spot off my lip.  And on the very same day they told us that Amy would have two spots removed off of her back, and they believed that they were cancer (she had Melanoma 2 years ago).  At that moment it was like a bomb went off in my life.  I know how crazy this sounds coming from a guy who is a licensed counselor and pastor, but I'm simply being honest.  At that moment I honestly thought I was going to colapse, which freaked the dermatologist and my wife out!  I began sweating profusely, felt light headed, and then felt like I would puke!  Yes it was a full-blown panic attack that was based not just on what was happening at that moment, but over my entire life.    

Yes, I am very thankful that the doctors said we are now fine, but I couldn't get past hearing and seeing that emotional bomb explode in my face.  The bomb that represents that life is short, and can become even shorter in the blink of an eye.  It was a reminder that life is fragile, and going faster than I would like for it to go.  When I fully realized that I hit the midlife mile marker it simply made me slam on the brakes and look backwards and forward.  And when someone looks backwards it often leads to depression, and when they look to the future it often leads to anxiety.  For me it has lead to a combination of the two despite the many blessings in my life.       


Fortunately I found a great counselor who is helping me work through what seems to be the perfect shit storm of anxiety.  The storm being a combination of Amy having yet another skin cancer scare, my midlife crisis, and PTSD.  And all of this is just the tip of the emotional iceberg...the tip that sticks out of the water.  Meaning there are a lot of issues that I have stuffed away for 46 years that I need to deal with to get emotionally healthy.  

There is so much more that I can say about this interesting phase of life, and I may do so in the future.  The point of the blog is simply for those who may be feeling the same way and think they are alone, or for those who want to lend some advice by posting in the comments below.  If nothing else we can all pray for each other that we make this a time of growth, and not allow it to keep us from living the abundant life God intended for us to live.  Please feel free to click one of the share buttons above to post this on one of your social media sites...the more advice the better! 

Thanks,

Tony 
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