On Tuesday morning, a 36-year-old in Bellingham, Washington named David Wayne Jordan tried to get some weed to his incarcerated friends . . . by attaching it to an ARROW and shooting it through a window on the second floor.
Apparently he needed some more practice before he tried it though, because he MISSED the window, and the arrow landed on the roof.
One of the employees happened to see it, and Jordan was arrested a short time later when cops went to his house, and the bow was still sitting in his car.
The best part is that he claims he was actually hunting a SQUIRREL, although he couldn't explain why the arrow needed to have a bag of POT taped to it. Which, by the way, only contained enough marijuana for about one or two joints.
Jordan was charged with trying to introduce contraband into a corrections facility, obstructing law enforcement, and resisting arrest. He's now being held in the same jail he tried to shoot the arrow into.
When it comes to not getting caught, criminals aren't always careful. But it's KIND OF understandable why this guy blew it . . .
A 23-year-old drug dealer named Ladarean Mixon showed up at an emergency room in Charleston, West Virginia around 4:00 A.M. Tuesday morning . . . because he'd accidentally shot one of his own TESTICLES off. Which explains why his mind wasn't in the game. Because apparently Ladarean forgot to leave his large bag of HEROIN at home.
While he was being wheeled into the ER, the bag of heroin fell out of his pocket. And Ladarean ended up being booked for felony drug possession with intent to sell. The two friends who dropped him off ALSO got arrested on drug charges. And two women who claimed to be Ladarean's sisters were arrested for lying to police about his name.
The last few months have been somewhat tough for me. As I stated in an earlier blog I officially feel like I started my midlife crisis. It kicked off with a large dose of anxiety, which lead to some deep soul searching and counseling. I am at the beginning of the journey, but what I have learned about myself has been enlightening on many levels. What you need to know about me is that I have always been looking for the NEXT big thing....the NEXT challenge. And what I have come to realize is the BIG thing and greatest challenge of a man's life is in front of me. It is in the form of a beautiful green eyed blonde and three children. And I realized that everyday can be a BIG day when I focus on making my impact on my family, friends, and coworker.
I have been so busy looking to the future that I often times missed out on the blessings of the present. And I have to say that releasing myself from the need to get to the NEXT BIG thing has been awesome. I still have a lot to learn about living in the moment, but what I have learned so far has been both refreshing and strange. It is strange because I no longer have this nagging anxiety or tension that always looking for the NEXT BIG thing brought into my life. And I now realize that anxiety and tension has been with me since I was about 15 years-old. So to let it go has not been easy, but I have noticed that I feel more relaxed and content. And that is a BIG thing!
Yogi Bear loves hunting for pic-a-nic baskets, but a large black bear in Longwood, Florida, was more interested in a relaxing soak in a hot tub.
The bear recently showed up in the backyard of Jenny Sue Rhoades, who was sitting on her couching watching TV when the incident happened, the Orlando Sentinel reports.
Rhoades is used to seeing bears walking through her backyard, but she says she was a little freaked out when this one walked through her screen "like it was made of butter."
"I should have yelled at him for leaving dirty paw prints around the spa," Rhoades told WFTV.com. "I went in my office and I got my camera, by the time I came back out his nose was pushed up against the screen."
First , he put his mouth in her spa, then a paw and finally he just jumped in.
"I think he was hot and thirsty," Rhoades said. "It looked like he knew what he was doing. He had been in a pool or spa before, there's no doubt in my mind," she said.
Rhoades says the bear spent about two or three minutes in the spa until she scared him away by banging on a table.
She says she wasted no time scaring the bear away because she didn't want him to get used to using her spa and she didn't want him to leave "a package" behind.
At that point, he got out of the spa and left through the hole he had made in the screen.
Florida wildlife officials tell WPTV.com that there is a female bear and cubs in the area near the Rhoades home, and they've been too elusive to trap.
I'm not sure any bank robberies this year have been as GUARANTEED TO FAIL as this one. Earlier this week, 29-year-old Johnnie Gooden Jr. of College Station, Texas walked into a Chase bank branch in Bryan, Texas and told the teller one hell of a story.
Johnnie told her he'd just been ADOPTED by MICHELLE OBAMA . . . yes, specifically Michelle. He didn't mention his new dad,PRESIDENT OBAMA. He said Michelle reached out through Facebook and adopted him. SO . . . because he was now a part of the Obama family, he was hoping to withdraw some money from their account.
We're not sure why he thought a random Chase bank in Texas would have access to the Obamas' account, but maybe it's best not to try to apply logic here. The teller called the cops, and when they got there, they found Johnnie had outstanding warrants for resisting arrest and assaulting a public servant. He also had some reefer on him. He was arrested.
There's just something about driving a German car that brings out the EVIL, INNER GERMAN in people. According to a new survey, the drivers who are most aggressive and most likely to have road rage are . . . BMW drivers. Land Rover drivers finished second, Audi drivers were third, and Subaru drivers were fourth.
The survey also found that people in BLUE cars are the most likely to have road rage. That beat out black, silver, green, and red.
The worst time of the week for road rage is 5:45 P.M. on Fridays, when people are just desperately trying to get home for the weekend. Monday mornings are the second-worst time for road rage.
And finally, men admitted to road rage more often than women. The average man gets angry when he's driving seven times a month . . . for the average woman, it's three times a month. So, adding it all up . . . watch out for men in blue BMWs on Friday during rush hour. Because THEY WANT TO KILL YOU.
Ever suspected your husband secretly loves the DOG more than you? It's pretty rare that you get definitive proof like THIS.
Graham Anley and his wife Cheryl are from South Africa, and on Sunday they were on a sailing trip all the way up to Madagascar. It was just the two of them and their nine-year-old Jack Russell terrier Rosie for three months.
But as they were sailing near the Transkei Coast on the east side of South Africa, they hit rough water . . . and their yacht CAPSIZED. And as Graham swam to shore, he decided to rescue . . . THE DOG.
Then, after he got Rosie safely on dry land, he swam back to get his wife.
A rescue helicopter picked them up, and all three ended up okay, although the boat was ruined.
Graham hasn't said why he grabbed Rosie before his wife, although we're thinking it's because terriers aren't great swimmers, and his wife was probably much better.
But STILL . . . you KNOW she's gonna hold this over him forever.
Early Sunday morning, 19-year-old Joseph Michael Hall of Knoxville, Tennessee was stumbling around drunk . . . and NAKED. No one, including Joseph OR the police, knows how he lost his clothes.
But apparently during his walk, he had a burst of modesty and decided he needed to cover himself up. So he decided to steal a Bobcat front-end loader. As opposed to, you know, a pair of shorts or something.
He spotted the front-end loader inside a plant nursery, broke in, found the keys in the ignition, and PLOWED through the nursery's chain link fence and onto the street.
The cops pulled him over as he was rolling down the highway in the front-end loader, just a few blocks away from home. He was arrested for felony theft, public intoxication, underage consumption, misdemeanor vandalism, and indecent exposure.
Earlier this week, in Changchun, in northern China, a 45-year-old man named Wang Li decided to KILL HIMSELF, because he was depressed about being out of work. So he climbed out of the window in his sixth-story apartment to JUMP.
Fortunately, his wife, Ling Su, saw what was happening, and was RIGHT behind him. So as he was climbing out of the window to jump, she reached out and grabbed him . . . by his BOXERS. So he was just DANGLING THERE upside down . . . naked man-cheeks exposed to the world . . . as she managed to hang onto his boxers and keep him from falling. She eventually got a better grip around his leg, and HUNG ON for 20 MINUTES until help arrived.
A Chicago man pulled a foot-long knife and threatened police with his cane and…and a shoehorn and so the police tased him & shot him with bean bag gun which knocked him to the ground and unfortunately it killed the poor due. But what do you expect considering he was 95 years-old.