We have all met Mr. or Ms. Know it All right? They try to one-up every story, monopolize conversations, and they will try like hell to be the first to answer a question…even when they weren't the one being asked! So what would be the reason for this annoying behavior? Well, it likely revolves around their narcissism or insecurity. Some may say that the narcissist is insecure, and that is what spurs them on toward superiority. I wouldn't fully disagree with that, but there are a couple of differences I find between those who are acting out of insecurity and those who are truly narcissistic, and I believe it is important to be able to determine the difference. Because one you need to run from, and the other you simply need to run toward.
The insecure person wants to be respected, because they lack self-respect. The insecure Mr. or Ms. Know it All is practically begging to be admired and valued because of a need for acceptance. However, the Narcissistic Mr. or Ms. Know it all feels that you should realize you need them, they are due your admiration, and they are highly valuable to any organization lucky enough to have them.
So the next time you meet someone and they are a Know it All don't rush to judgement. Figure out where they are coming from. If they are insecure then take the time to breathe life into their soul! Dr. Chuck Swindoll says, "Encouragement is oxygen to the soul." The insecure person will grow from your encouragement and will eventually stop being a Know it All. The narcissistic Know it All will not. They will feed off of admiration and encouragement, and rather than allowing it to make them a more polite and secure person it tends to inflate the ego. And it leads to them treating others poorly, because they truly see all others as beneath them. To sum up my point, the insecure person feels as though they need you in their life, while the narcissist feels as though youneed them in your life.
Wrote this sometime ago but wanted to share it with you:
I'm sitting on an airplane writing this post, because I'm on my way to West Virginia to see my parents. My father had a stroke several months ago and my mother is doing her best to care for him. He has become feeble, has paralysis in one arm, and has difficulty walking. It is during this phase of life where living far from home leads to more heartache, stress, and yes guilt. After all, they took care of me when I wasn't able to care for myself. People remind me, "Well you have your own life to live." I feel that's a poor excuse for not being there for parents who greatly sacrificed so I could have my "own life to live." And so the guilt deepens.
As I fly smoothly over what looks to be the Great Lakes I attempt to prepare myself to see two wonderful parents who have grown weary. It's difficult for me to accept that the two people who gave me a strong foundation have grown weak. And now they need me to guide them. Yes there comes a day when the parent becomes the child, and the irony is…they won't listen.
There comes a time in our life when we need to say, “I have no one to blame.” If you are like me that time may have come later than you hoped, because it is a very health time of awareness. Many go through life blaming their parents, an employer, spouse(s), friends, and for some…even their kids for not being the man or woman they dreamed of being. Sure, all of the aforementioned do influence the projections of our life, but other than our parents we made the decision to enter into the relationships. As I will say again later in this blog post, where you and I are in the world today is a result of the decisions we have made, the relationships we have made, and more importantly…how we have chosen to project ourselves to the world around us. We have all been told that life is not about us, but the quality of our life will be determined by how we choose to project ourselves to others.
Do you remember the great Rodney Dangerfield? He was a comedian whose entire shtick was based on the fact he got no respect. He was the king of self-deprecating humor. One of his lines was, “I went to my psychiatrist and he said I was crazy; so I told him I wanted a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.” As a child I loved him! And being one of the fat and under achieving kids in the class I realized I could use that same self-deprecation to get laughs. And even as I got thinner and better looking on the outside…I felt the same on the inside. So I continued with my Rodney Dangerfield shtick.
The problem with my decision to project myself as the guy who always screws things up, isn’t very bright, or simply gets “no respect” is that it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. People laugh at the jokes, but there is a part of them that begins to believe what you are saying even if or when there comes a day you don’t. There comes a time in most of our lives when we want to be taken seriously. If we are growing in maturity and getting healthier then we begin to realize we have something to offer the world. We quit blaming everyone else, get our head out of our ass, and then we want our parents, friends, spouse, and everyone else to know we are not who we have led them believe. We no longer want to be the punch line or a punching bag. We no longer want to be told what to do, who to be, or where to go. However, in order for us to change theirperceptions we must first change our projections. We have to change what we are projecting to the world around us or they will continue to feel the need to put us in our place. After all, through our words and behavior we have told them we need that in our life! We have projected a persona that says we aren’t capable! It may be that we’ve led others to believe we aren’t capable of managing our own affairs, leading, getting a job done, or making our own decisions. Most people don’t just assume you or I are incapable…we have lead them to believe it.
Let me ask you a few questions to help you see if this “mighty blog” can help you today.
Who are you in your heart?
Do you believe you can do more with you life if others would give you the chance?
Do you wonder why others don’t take you seriously or don’t see your gifts and talents?
Do you often times feel overlooked or disregarded?
Do you wonder why others think they have the right to boss you around, treat you like a child, manipulate you, or literally speak down to you?
Focus on that first question for a moment, because it is the place to start. You first must realize that you were put on this earth with gifts and talents. You must understand that you can achieve the things you have dreamed of achieving. Because if you don’t believe it then you sure as hell aren’t going to convince others. The other questions will help you determine what message you are sending to the world around you. Simply put, you and I have to demand respect if we want it from others. Yes small doses of self-deprecating humor and true humility are important for success, but they shouldn’t be your shtick unless you are a comedian, entertainer, or just enjoy it!
Again, if you and I want respect then we will have to demand it. However, we don’t demand it by directly asking for it or being rude to others…we ask for it through how we project ourselves to the world. It is time to introduce everyone to the real you so move out of your heart, into your brain, and out into the world!
“By not saving & managing your money in your youth…you greatly increase the likelihood that you will one day feel enslaved to a job. People will tell you that money doesn’t make you happy, and that’s because they are broke. Money will offer you freedom, which can lead to both peace and happiness. Make it-Share it-Save it”
Being on the radio for almost 20 years has taught me that you can’t make a statement everyone will agree with, and so I was not shocked that a few (very few) disagreed. However, I am a little shocked that someone would disagree. Does that make sense? Sure, I know that not everyone will realize I’m like a Caucasian Buddha, but not sure how anyone can deny the importance of money here in America. Regardless, I want to clarify my statement to help people understand the brilliance that flowed so easily from my tortured mind.
Note that I didn’t say money can take care of all of our problems, and that it is the source of happiness. I said it can make life easier for you. When life is easier it can thus bring more peace and happiness to most situations. For example, one of my dear friends replied with the following statement to my post:
I agree with you Tony. Always been a “save for rainy day” fund gal. In my 20s..when we were making very good money-we both socked 16 percent into 401ks…bought a modest home. 15 year mortgage ( house now paid off and I am only 43 ). Being responsible then when we were making big bucks saved me a world of grief later.
You will notice the phrase, “Saved me a world of grief later.” What you don’t know is my good friend lost her husband to cancer at a very young age, and was left to raise 3 children. Did the money take away the grief. No. Did she ever think the money would replace the loss of the love of her life? No. However, did it reduce the stress in her life greatly? Absolutely. Let me give you an example on the other side of the spectrum. My parents are now almost 80 years of age, and despite having Medicaid and an AARP health policy their medications cost them over $500 a month. If my parents had not saved money then they would be having even more struggles Life is still difficult for them, but at least one stressor has been removed due to a few extra “Benjamins” in the bank.
Money shouldn’t be worshiped, and allowed to control us, but you sure as hell better learn to respect it and know the value of it. I’m not speaking from a place of expertise, but I am speaking from experience. I’ve made and continue to make great money, but because I wasn’t wise throughout the years it has tripled the amount of stress I have in my life. I simply didn’t listen to my father who told me to save my money. Now, please know I’m blessed beyond my dreams with most of the important things in life so don’t miss my point about money. My post is simply a way of advising younger folks to not just live for today. Sure, enjoy today and spend some of your money on things that will bring joy into your life…just don’t spend all of it!
A few others insinuated that my Facebook post showed that I’m a broken man and in need of turning things over to God. I would like to say that we are all broken, and you know what is worse than being broken? Being broken and broke at the same time! I fully believe that a belief in a high power will bring an incredible amount of peace during difficult times. However, God doesn’t even carry a wallet, which makes it very difficult for Him to pay my rent.
A guy in Manchester, England called the cops around 11:30 Tuesday night, when he noticed a guy setting up a LADDER outside his apartment, leading to one of his windows.
So he reported it as a possible burglary in progress. Then while he was on the phone, he thought of something…something to end the robbery. He simply opened the window, grabbed the ladder and quickly pulled it into the apartment. The robber then just stood there shocked before running off.
Today’s Crown of Clowns goes to one Kylie Mullane!
Kylie is in a little trouble because she just slapped the crap out of her 18 year-old daughter Ashley. And yes Ashley is the one who called the cops after she got the backhand from mommy dearest. But here is why…why Kylie lost her mind and smacked her daughter…it was because her little girl flushed her weed! You see, Kylie had been out buying some groceries and returned home to find that her gilggle grass was missing and so she flipped out. Her daughter Ashley then said, I flushed it down the toilet and “BAM” she took one across the choppers.
Wait…did I say the mother was the clown?...I can I change my mind! I kid…I kid! Kylie I fully understand having teenagers in your home makes you want to smoke your brains out, BUT let’s not resort to physical violence.
Kylie, take a lesson from our very own Tony Russell…just tell your kids you need it for THE GLAUCOMA!
OR Kylie you could just do what 98% of all parents do…TEACH YOUR KIDS TO SAY NO…AND THEN HIDE YOUR DANG WEED in the top of your closet!
A TV station in Youngstown sent a reporter to check out a fire that started in a garage and spread to two houses. The garage belonged to a woman named Heather who was willing to talk on camera. And the reporter asked her (on live TV) if she knew how the fire started, and that is when she said, “Oh yeah…my COUSIN did it.” The very nervous reporter then asked Why?
And Heather said this about her cousin, "He's mad because he can't get with me. I'm married to my husband . . . he already put him in the hospital once last month." COMMERICAL BREAK
Jayson Curtiss got pulled over back in April and the cops found a bag with about a pound of a leafy green substance in his SUV.
He told them, quote, "I'm a licensed dealer of that."
When they didn't buy that, he said, quote, "It's for aromatherapy."
When they didn't buy THAT, he said, quote, "It's my yard clippings."
So they said, "Which is it…your are licensed dealer, it’s aromatherapy, or yard clipping?" He then literally said, “I’m going to go with yard clippings.”
So they took it to a lab for testing, and it turns out it was a synthetic marijuana called "spice," which has been illegal in Florida for over two years. So Jayson was arrested and hit with a bunch of felony narcotics charges.
Ladies and gentlemen, here…here is why you should focus on getting fat and not fit when on vacations. A man who we know was in his 60s was working out in a hotel gym in Fort Lauderdale on Wednesday morning . . . he was getting pumped up for his day on “Geritol Beach.” And while he was on the chess press…well…he fell off. Yep, he just tipped over on one of the machines. He fell over & somehow got his HEAD stuck.
It took several minutes, but someone finally walked into the gym to find our poor dude just lying there on the floor with his head stuck in the fitness machine. The fire department had to come & use torches and saws to get him out. But thankfully our pumped up senior citizen is going to be just fine…the only thing damaged was his ego.
We don’t have a name so let’s call him…Smokey. And Smokey is our crown of clown today…and here is why:
Smokey was riding his mountain bike in the Boise foothills and nature called…he had to go to the bathroom, but of course there were no toilets. So he stopped his bicycle and dropped his pants, dropped a deuce, and then…then he wanted to be environmentally sensitive so he lit the toilet paper on fire and…well…he also lit up 73 acres! Yes, he burned down 73 acres. Smokey turned himself in and told authorities that he accidently caught the forest on fire while lighting the toilet paper.
Smokey, I honestly feel sorry for you, because…well..your heart was in the right place, but your ass was not. It’s happened to the best of us, but we didn’t burn down half the state of Idaho.
Smokey, honesty is always…always…the best policy, UNLESS you just committed a major crime. At that point you need to listen to the words of my father Green Beret Bob who says, “Deny-Deny-Deny.”
Lastly, Listen to my words, because I’ve always said…Dance like no one is watching, and poop like no one is in the stall next to you. So God bless you.