I have learned that during stressful times you have two choices. You can allow it to push you apart or pull you together. I believe that we live in a wonderful world, but all at the same time it seems to be a battle ground for marriage. From the day we say I do it seems like someone or something is trying to get us to say I quit. So Amy and I decided quickly that we would ban together whenever anything or anyone threatened our marriage. Meaning we would become a united front And this included family, friends, occupations, and etc.
I truly believe that one fo the biggest mistakes a couple can make is bringing family and friends into their marriage. Meaning, when you have an argument with your spouse you then call momma or daddy to discuss it. I mean come on...momma and daddy will always take our side right? And then they will take it a step further and start being critical of your spouse. And then what happens? During the next argument we say, "well my momma says you are ______." And now there will be bad feelings between momma and your spouse And from that point forward it is a downward spiral. And friends can be even worse..especially if they are divorced or having problems in their marriage! So be very careful where you go for support. I have made it very clear to friends and family that they are never to say a bad word about my wife And fortunately that has never been an issue.
And with all of that being said I have to mention the number one reason that I believe our marriage has worked well for the last 12 years. It is because of our relationship with God. Now please don’t think I’m saying we are spiritual giants. We are far from getting it all figure out and we have daily struggles like most (maybe more). However, God changed our hearts and has given us the ability to love one another despite our hurts, habits, and hang-ups. It his love and forgiveness for each of us that helps us realize that we can surely forgive each other.
To my wife, I love you with all of my heart. I thank you for being an incredible wife and an amazing mother to our 3 children. I fall more in love with you every year that we are married. Your courage in the face of our many challenges has been an inspiration. And your willingness to help me pursue my dreams has been overwhelming. You have accepted me as I am without trying to change me, but challenged me to be a better man and father. My prayer is that we will grow old together while spending a lot of time on a beach in Mexico, and that we will have a house full of grandchildren to spoil and keep us young.