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Tony




Marriage

Amy and I have been married for 12 years.  During that time we have faced everything from moving 6 times to her battle with cancer (cancer free for 1 year).  Throw in there that during this time I was the pastor of a church, I'm ADHD, I'm in radio, and we have both been married before then you would probably think that our marriage is full of turmoil.  I'm happy to say that we have had a very happy marriage.  We are far from perfect, but at the end of the day, no matter how bad that day may have been, I knew that I was loved and that I loved her with all my heart.  And I knew that there was no other place that I wanted to be.  I believe that one of the reasons for this is because of one simple principle that I will discuss next. 

I have learned that during stressful times you have two choices.  You can allow it to push you apart or pull you together.  I believe that we live in a wonderful world, but all at the same time it seems to be a battle ground for marriage.  From the day we say I do it seems like someone  or something is trying to get us to say I quit.  So Amy and I decided quickly that we would ban together whenever anything or anyone threatened our marriage.  Meaning we would become a united front  And this included family, friends, occupations, and etc. 

I truly believe that one fo the biggest mistakes a couple can make is bringing family and friends into their marriage.  Meaning, when you have an argument with your spouse you then call momma or daddy to discuss it.  I mean come on...momma and daddy will always take our side right?  And then they will take it a step further and start being critical of your spouse.  And then what happens?  During the next argument we say, "well my momma says you are ______."  And now there will be bad feelings between momma and your spouse And from that point forward it is a downward spiral.  And friends can be even worse..especially if they are divorced or having problems in their marriage!  So be very careful where you go for support.  I have made it very clear to friends and family that they are never to say a bad word about my wife  And fortunately that has never been an issue. 

And with all of that being said I have to mention the number one reason that I believe our marriage has worked well for the last 12 years.  It is because of our relationship with God.  Now please don’t think I’m saying we are spiritual giants.  We are far from getting it all figure out and we have daily struggles like most (maybe more).  However, God changed our hearts and has given us the ability to love one another despite our hurts, habits, and hang-ups.  It his love and forgiveness for each of us that helps us realize that we can surely forgive each other. 

To my wife, I love you with all of my heart.  I thank you for being an incredible wife and an amazing mother to our 3 children.  I fall more in love with you every year that we are married.  Your courage in the face of our many challenges has been an inspiration.  And your willingness to help me pursue my dreams has been overwhelming.  You have accepted me as I am without trying to change me, but challenged me to be a better man and father.  My prayer is that we will grow old together while spending a lot of time on a beach in Mexico, and that we will have a house full of grandchildren to spoil and keep us young.



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11/07/2011 11:07AM
Marriage
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05/18/2012 9:29AM
How Beautiful
Dear Tony: I was trying to navigate to other areas of the site, when I decided to look at your blog. First, you write very well, and why I didn't expect that, well, I don't know, I guess I think of you as a radio host, not a writer, so good job. Also, I agree with all you said and I really admire a man who can say such a meaningful and lovely message to his wife. Your setiments are the same as between my husband of 30 years. I love your humor and we think alike about a lot of things. I think of you as the grounded on on the set. Keep up the good work!
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