Want to stay unemployed? Then do these 8 things when applying for a job.
1. Weird hobbies. You might think all your weird hobbies make you more interesting in an interview, like maybe they'll be a conversation starter. But actually they just make you LOOK WEIRD. And weird people don't get jobs when a normal person is available.
2. Your private business. Your marital status, religious affiliation, sexual orientation and other private matters shouldn't go on a resume. Employers aren't allowed to take them into account anyway. And for almost all jobs, they're irrelevant to performance.
3. Big vocabulary words. They won't impress anyone. People who don't know them will resent you, and people who do know them will see through it. And BOTH groups will think you're a showoff.
4. Unprofessional-sounding email addresses. If you're still rocking your "SexyLady69@gmail.com" address from junior college, open a new account. It's free and it takes two minutes. If you don't take the job seriously, you won't get it.
5. Sensitive identifying information. Don't give them your social security number before you get the job. You don't know where they're storing that resume, or who gets to see it after you hand it over.
6. Attention-getting tactics. Don't print a resume on colored paper, or use weird fonts or decorations. Hiring managers hate all that stuff, pretty much without exception. It's all part of taking the job seriously.
7. Wild career objectives. Don't apply for a job in the mailroom and say you intend to become the CEO. Ambition is great, but delusions will get you passed over.
8. Irrelevant job experience. No one wants to read about your part-time jobs in high school. Stick to the experience that QUALIFIES you for the job you want. If that makes your resume too short, that probably means you shouldn't be applying in the first place.
Nobody wants to get robbed, but most people don't realize all the ways they're making their houses ATTRACTIVE to burglars. HouseLogic.com has a list of eight things people do that make it easier for burglars to rob you:
1. Leaving a ladder in the yard. Burglars can easily get around a lot of home security systems by getting into a second-story window that isn't wired in. So don't leave a ladder sitting outside in your yard, where anyone can get to it.
2. Leaving new appliance and electronics packaging out on the curb. When you get a new TV and leave the box outside next to your garbage, EVERYONE knows you just got a new TV. The week after Christmas, burglars basically get to pick what they want to steal. The houses with boxes on the curb and no cars outside are just ASKING to be cleaned out.
3. Having flimsy wood-panel doors on back or side entrances. Burglars often get in by just kicking a hole in a back or side door. So every door should be steel-wrapped and deadbolted . . . or at least it should be solid wood that can't be kicked in.
4. Hanging a mirror in your entryway. Think about it: A mirror FACING your front door allows people to look in through a window, and see whether your alarm is set. If you need to have a mirror by the door, hang it where it can't be seen from outside.
5. Leaving the grass uncut. Never go on a long vacation without getting someone you trust to maintain your yard, and pick up mail and newspapers. Also, don't leave the garage door opener in your second car, if it's going to stay in the driveway or on the street. If your garage is attached, a burglar can break your car window and use the opener to walk right into your house.
6. Using a fire safe. Don't put your valuables into a lockbox or fire safe and leave it sitting in the closet. That's like putting everything the burglars want into a convenient carry case for them. Use a wall safe, or get a safe deposit box at the bank.
7. Updating your Facebook status. Think about all the "friends of friends" nearby who'll know exactly where you are when you post something online. And don't upload your vacation photos until you get BACK FROM VACATION. If you're using Foursquare or any other GPS-based apps that let you "check in" at a certain location, keep track of your security settings and only allow trusted friends to see your posts.
8. Selling things on Craigslist. When you're selling something locally, the worst thing you can do is invite complete strangers INTO YOUR HOUSE to look at it. If they like it, they can just pick it up and run with it . . . or worse, steal it at gunpoint. If you don't know the buyers, arrange to meet them in a public place.
KENNY CHESNEY is donating proceeds from downloads of his song "Spread the Love" to victims of the Boston Marathon bombing. The fund will help pay for prosthetics, physical therapy and continued health care. You can find out more and make a donation at kennychesney.com