One of the bigger mistakes married couple make is they quit trying to look nice for each other. When a couple starts dating they go all out on trying to look PHAT (pretty hot and tempting from the 1990s)! However, you fast forward a few years into a marriage and add a couple of kids, and you may find "Jim Bob" and "Mary Sue" going from doing the humpty dance to the frumpy dance! Jim Bob is walking around the house in his favorite baggy Nike shorts & high top shoes that he should have retired long ago. And then there is Mary Sue who has on her sweatpants, and the "J" in the "Juicy" across her butt is fading fast!
What is my point? I don't care how long you have been married...you should still try to look nice for one another. Sure, there are days when we are not feeling well or the stress has been overwhelming, and it is okay to put on the fat pants and relax, but not every single day. I'm not saying that it is fair ladies and gentleman, but the way you present yourself throughout the day and evening is foreplay. If you are sitting at dinner looking as hot as the sizzling steak fajitas on your plate then your spouse is looking across the table thinking about the night cap. If you don't believe me then do your own little experiment. Start wearing some nice clothes around dinner and bedtime. Yes ladies that may mean that you need to give the sweatpants a night off, and guys believe it or not...you don't have to wear the same thing everyday and night either (at least wash them).
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Tony Russell, MA, LMHC