Maria Carreiro just won the lottery, and she said that she could not believe it when she looked at her Lottery Max Ticket and saw $40,000! She then went to the lottery office to get her 40 grand. There was only one problem…she had made a mistake. Poor Maria had misread the ticket. She hadn’t won $40,000! However, she had won FORTY MILLION DOLLARS!
Enjoy your day stuck in your lame ass cubicle working for the man!
Out of Eastern Europe … A Picture is not Worth This
A man was on a fishing trip on Lake Shestakov when he saw a cute and furry little beaver. So he pulled out his camera and walked over to get closer to take a really good pic. Well apparently "Billy The Beaver" does not like his picture taken, because he turned around and ran straight at the fisherman! And before he could say, “Holy Crap I’m being attacked by a beaver” he was being
attacked by a beaver. The furry beast jumped on his thigh and began biting into it like a fat man on a chicken leg. Unfortunately one of them survived the attack and it was not…was not the photographer.
Out of Florida … Wahhhhhhhhh
Vincent Valvo called 911 to report a crime…well…what he thought was a crime. He told the 911 operator that he wanted to report his mother. Yes Vinnie was turning in his own mother, because he didn’t like the way she was speaking to him. He said she was being mean to him and apparently this hurt his feelings. When the 911 operator told him there wasn’t anything they could do about that he hung up. He later called back to complain again about his mommy. So the operator sent an officer out to the address and they arrested…they arrested Vincent! Why? Because he is almost 20 years-old!
This was taken from my What are You Kidding Me script that I write for the show each day. I do my best to get the facts correct, but there are no guarantees!
Thanks for stopping by & please hit "like" & if you don't mind share it with your friends.