Helloâ€”and welcome again to my continuing series on The Magic of Radio!
In my first post in this series, I offered to answer your burning questions about radio in future columns, and today, Iâ€™ll address a query posted by BWL (Beloved Wolf Listener) Greg Adams, who says: â€śI want to know how many hours you guys really work. On the air for four, but I think youâ€™re there at least that many before.â€ť
Well, Greg, that depends on your definition of the word â€śworkâ€ť.Â If by â€śworkâ€ť you mean hanging out in the production room listening to sound effects of various bodily functions, making happy hour plans with record company executives, seeing how loud you can play the new Big & Rich song before the sales manager comes screaming down the hallway, and looking up your old high school boyfriend on Facebook, then DJs are among the hardest working people on the planet.
However if by â€śworkâ€ť you mean expressly performing functions related to our employment, well, then we rank right up there with Kim Kardashian in terms of productivity.
The sad thing is that if we radio people really did do all the stuff weâ€™re supposed to do, it would result in our boss having a stroke. Since we like him, we rarely engage in the following tasks as a matter of his life and death:
--Listening to new music and deciding which songs are howl-worthy. Radio stations typically get anywhere from ten to twenty CDs of new music per week, many of which are now being used as coasters and Christmas ornaments.
--Scheduling music. Every song you hear on The Wolfâ€”or any other music radio stationâ€”is scheduled hour by hour on computer software that makes sure we donâ€™t play the same artist, song, or tempo back-to-back. The only exception to these rules is Taylor Swift, who now legally controls Nashville, radio, all computers, and will write a nasty song about us if we donâ€™t play her all the time.
--Writing and recording commercials. This is actually a creative process that requires quite a bit of work and recreational drinking, so DJs usually fight over who gets to do this.
--Personal appearances. It is mandated that all Wolf DJs shower and put on clean clothes before we do any remotes or public events, which is why Savannah Jones does most of them.
--Doing show prep. This involves coming up with things to talk about, and putting together all the little music beds, sound effects, and edited phone calls you hear during a DJâ€™s radio show. Itâ€™s such a big job that Mike & Amy have their own producerâ€”a nice guy named Dan Clark who theyâ€™ve duct-taped to chair in a studio all by himself, with only the voices of Tom Shane and George W. Bush for company.
--Coming up with contests and prizes. This is lots of work at The Wolf because we give away more stuff than any station anywhere. Â It is a FACT that our boss strictly limits the number of concert tickets and backstage passes the staff can have so that we give almost all of them away to listeners.
Which come to think of it, makes that stroke I mentioned before not such a bad idea.
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speaking of contest....
Last summer you had the Band Next Door contest.
We went into the studio to professional record our songs because
we think it would have been chosen to played on the Wolf in Portland!
However, now that we finished our first single and our debut video,
we are sad not to be able to enter the contest. So, anyways, here it is in case
the contest reappears: