Mark Wach will now be inducted into the redneck hall of fame for the events of his weekend. It started with Marko getting upset with his lawn mower and…and his 1986 Camaro. Apparently the mower wouldn’t start because it was out of gas and then the Camaro wouldn’t start because…well it was built in 1986. So to fix the problem he then pulled out his shotgun and shot them both up. This trigger Trigger…no trigger isn’t his dog…Trigger is his 15 year-old son who came out to stop his redneck daddy. And so then daddy got him in a headlock and they wrestled until cops arrived.
Out of North Carolina … Direct Hit
Around 3 a.m. the boys in blue had a DUI checkpoint set up and here coming down the road was Dougie Southard in his 1989 red Chevy Camaro. And the cops knew he was drunk without even giving him the test, because all of their lights were flashing…all of their cars and lights were blazing and well…Dougie didn’t bother to stop. He crashed right into the DUI checkpoint. He was taken to the hospital with minor injuries and ended charged with driving with a revoked license, careless and reckless driving, failure to reduce speed to avoid and accident, and for the grand finale…a DUI.
Out of Michigan … Dead Wrong
A woman named Margarita Salais bought a used 2006 Ford Explorer from a car dealership called Suburban Ford and not long after getting it she began to smell something funny. Well actually it wasn’t funny because it smelled like death. She literally said, “It smelled like someone died in it.” And there was a reason for that…because it turned out that someone had died in it! She literally hired a hazardous material team who investigated and discovered the car had been stolen 3 times and has been used to carry around a dead body. She will get about $25,000 for her trouble.
Out of Oregon … Feeling Squirly
And now a cautionary tale about what happens when you combine guns, booze, and squirrels with an idiot. The idiot here would be one Ethan Bennett who was at home when a squirrel ran up his left leg. It would be interesting to find out how the squirrel got into his home, but we don’t. We do know that Ethan came up with an amazing plan…a ingenious plan on how to get the squirrel off of his leg. He grabbed his 22 riffle that just happened to be right beside of him and tried to shoot the squirrel...the squirrel that was still on his pant leg! He missed! Now while the squirrel did quickly get off of his leg…he then had a bigger problem…a bullet IN his leg!