What are You Kidding Me for July 29, 2015

Out of Ohio … Kissing Cousins


A TV station in Youngstown  sent a reporter to check out a fire that started in a garage and spread to two houses. The garage belonged to a woman named Heather who was willing to talk on camera.  And the reporter asked her (on live TV) if she knew how the fire started, and that is when she said, “Oh yeah…my COUSIN did it.” The very nervous reporter then asked Why? 


And Heather said this about her cousin, "He's mad because he can't get with me.  I'm married to my husband . . . he already put him in the hospital once last month." COMMERICAL BREAK

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Locations : OhioYoungstown


Crown of Clowns for July 29, 2015

Today’s Crown of Clowns goes to…well…a clown. Seriously, a clown was recently sighted in a Chicago cemetery late at night. The clown apparently stood in front of the cemetery waiting to be illuminated by the headlights of a passing car. Once he was seen, the clown paused, waved slowly for maximum creepy effect — then scaled the 7-foot-tall gate and ran away. Officials investigated and found no vandalism in the cemetery!

My Points:
  1. Well…this is kind of tougher than I thought it would be…Clown you are a clown, because…dang…because you are a clown. A really really creepy clown.
  2. Mr. Cemetery Clown, you can scale a SEVEN FOOT TALL FENCE. How is it you are running around dressed as a clown at night and not…not in the circus or playing in the NBA?
  3. In seriousness, If you show up when I’m going to visit my sweet Aunt Winnie or Momma Mae or Daddy Bob…I will knock your ass out.
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Let Them Drink Hype?

This could well be the strangest thing Kim Kardashian's done.

I know, she's already set that bar pretty high, but this thing...

Okay, it's a commercial/film for Hype energy drink.

It starts with Double-K riding a bike with a basket full of Hype. She's dressed sort of like Audrey Hepburn.

The bike crashes, the Hype spills out, and Audrey/Kim is knocked out on the pavement.

Then she dreams she's Marie Antoinette.

Then there's a bunch of shots of Marie/Kim's chest.

Then Audrey/Kim wakes up, and then the commercial sort of goes off the rails.

Here's the thing: for most of the 2 minutes and 21 seconds, Kim is standing still. To promote an energy drink.

And out of the 2:21, you might see a can of Hype for maybe 15 seconds. Total.

Check out the video. See if you agree if it even exceeds Kim's normal WQ - Weirdness Quotient.

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Mission: Impossible Lip Sync Battle

Tom Cruise visited The Tonight Show the other night.

I guess his purpose was to promote Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation, which opens this Friday nationwide

But, he got engaged in a little battle with Jimmy Fallon.

A lip sync battle, to be precise.

And Tom did pretty well.

Check it out. It really was a lot of fun.

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People : Jimmy Fallon


We're Off to See the Wiz

NBC is continuing along with its live theatrical productions.

First, it was The Sound of Music with Carrie Underwood.

Then, last year's Peter Pan with Allison Williams and Christopher Walken.

This Thanksgiving season, they're offering up The Wiz, which is of course based on The Wizard of Oz.

Stephanie Mills has already been cast as Dorothy, reprising the role she played on Broadway.

Yesterday, the show's producers announced two more well-known names have been cast in the show:
  • Queen Latifah will be playing The Wiz
  • Mary J. Blige will be playing Evillene, the show's Wicked Witch of the West
No part - so far - for Christopher Walken, but we can hope, can't we?

Here's a taste of the show's music. Stephanie Mills singing "Home."

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Helen Mirren Cusses on Live TV

Helen Mirren was a guest on Good Morning, Britain yesterday - a wake-up-and-smile TV talk show.

We have a few of them here in The States - perhaps you've heard of them?

She's telling a story about going camping with then-boyfriend Liam Neeson - he of the "very particular set of skills" - and mentioned that it "pissed with rain, non-stop."

Turns out you can't say that word on TV in England.

When Helen asked why she couldn't say that, the show's co-host explained they could debate it, but they'd get fired.

"You might be the Queen, but you can't say that."

Watch the video. The whole exchange is pretty funny.


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Sleeper of the Summer?

I was just scrolling through some upcoming attraction trailers, and stumbled on this one.

I know there's a whole art to putting movie trailers together to get you thinking you want to see a particular movie, and I have to admit, the artiste behind this one did his job.

Sleeper CIA agent, working behind the counter at a quickie mart, gets activated and then has to get taken out.

Jesse Eisenberg looks perfectly cast in this one, as does Kristen Stewart.

How is that I'm just hearing about American Ultra now?

This one, I'm tempted to see in the theaters... Mark the calendar: August 21.

American Ultra – In Theaters August 21!

CIA's top sleeper agent has been awoken – but he’s still hazy. Watch American Ultra in theaters August 21!

Posted by American Ultra on Tuesday, July 21, 2015
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People : Jesse EisenbergKristen Stewart


No Explanation Possible

Lester Holt sums it up perfectly: "There is intense outrage..." around the world, especially on social media.

A dentist from Minnesota killed a noble lion in Zimbabwe that had been lured out of a game preserve.

The dentist says he paid some local guides, and thought he had all the legal permits he needed to "take" the lion.

Now the guides are being charged with poaching.

Meanwhile, another big cat is gone, thanks to one guy's willingness to pay $54,000 for a trophy head for his wall...

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What are You Kidding Me for July 28, 2015

Out of New Jersey … Dumb & Dumber


Octavio got pulled over by coppers for a couple of reasons. One he darted cross three lanes and traffic and two…in the process he literally ran an officer off the road! Now with all that being said let’s forget he is also a convicted felon…and let’s forget about the fact that he had a gun in his car, because that isn’t even the stupidest part!


Because when the cop walked up to his car, they also noticed that Octavio's hands were shaking . . . and his nose and mouth were covered in COCAINE.  But when he asked him about it, Octavio claimed it wasn't drugs . . . it was because he'd just eaten a powdered DONUT. Not surprisingly, the cop didn't buy it!

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Crown of Clowns for July 28, 2015

Officers pulled over Ray Woods over the weekend and noticed that he had quite the bulge in his pants.  So they asked him to step out of the car to see if he was packing heat. Ray Woods was not packing heat…..but he was blessed.  Blessed with a massive amount of heroin and cocaine. 
Get this, he had 26 bags of heroin and 41 bags of cocaine in his crotch.  Actually…it wasn’t just in his crotch he had the bags tied around his...well…testees. There you go, all in all…he had almost 70 bags of drugs…just in his pants.
My Points:
  1. Ray --- A guy with the last name Wood…getting caught because he has a bulge in his pants is just precious. So Mr. Wood thank you for making this easy.
  2. Ray --- Have you heard of something called a backpack, or maybe the old school brief case? Tying off 70 bags of the hooch to your pooch was not needed. Speaking of which…
  3. Ray --- Most people are concerned about your obvious drug problem…me…I’m worried that you can tie at least 41 bags around…around your twig and berries. So first see a lawyer and THEN rush to a doctor!
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